When you’re dating someone new, it’s tempting to start thinking about the future. If you really like them, you might be wondering whether they will ever be your partner. Though you might not have a crystal ball, you can still get a reasonable idea of whether the guy will ever be your partner. You just have to ask yourself these questions to decide if he’s a potential boyfriend or a waste of time.
- Do we want the same things? If you don’t want the same things as a guy, it’s unlikely that he’ll be your boyfriend. And if he were to become your boyfriend anyway, it probably wouldn’t last that long between you. A healthy couple moves in the same direction. They might not agree on every little thing, but they generally have the same idea about the big things in life. For example, their life values and priorities tend to be the same, even if they are stark opposites personality-wise. This is one of the most important questions to help you determine whether or not he has boyfriend potential.
- Does he include me in his life? According to Your Tango, this is a key question to ask if you’re wondering whether a guy will ever be your boyfriend. Incorporating you into his life is a clear sign that he wants to progress the relationship. That includes introducing you to his family and friends. Planning his schedule around yours. Making sacrifices and negotiations so there’s room for you in his life. When he doesn’t do any of this, it’s more likely that what you have is fleeting. Although it’s fun for right now, it’s not serious enough for him to put any effort into making space for you. He’s probably not planning on you sticking around for the long term.
- Does he remember my birthday? What about other important details? While not everyone cares about the importance of birthdays, if he forgets this and other things, it’s not a good sign. Forgetting important dates can show that he’s not emotionally invested in what he has with you. If he does remember your birthday, or important things you tell him, it shows that you do mean a lot to him. And that’s crucial if he’s going to be your boyfriend.
- Does he want the best for me? When two people are in love and in a healthy relationship, they want the best for each other. They want each other to be happy. So this is a really good question to ask because the answer can reveal where you’re headed. If he doesn’t want the best for you, he probably doesn’t feel strongly enough about you to become your boyfriend. But if he does? Then it shows you are really important to him. And it could lead to an official relationship.
- Does he genuinely make me happy? When it comes to a guy with boyfriend potential, this is one of the most important questions you can ask. Not every question you ask should be about him. Sometimes, you need to reflect on how you’re feeling. If a guy doesn’t make you happy, he probably won’t be your boyfriend. More than likely, you’ll end things before it gets to that stage, or not long after. Happiness should be non-negotiable. That’s not to say that a guy has to come in an rescue you and give your life meaning. You can definitely be happy as a single person. But if a relationship doesn’t enhance your life, what’s the point of it?
- Does he play games? Beware of the guy who still plays games past high school. You know the ones—silent treatment when he’s annoyed, flirting with other girls to make you jealous, love-bombing. Marie Claire advises that this is a red flag he’s not boyfriend material. When he is serious about you, he won’t have time for games. He won’t want to risk what he could have with you over something as stupid as a mind game.
- Can I rely on him? You have to be able to rely on your boyfriend. If he’s just too unreliable for you to really feel secure with him, then he probably won’t ever be your boyfriend. Does he stand by his promises? Be there when he says he’s going to be there? Keep your secrets that you trust him with? Trust is another non-negotiable element in any relationship. If he’s unreliable when you’re dating, he probably won’t last long as your boyfriend.
- Is he respectful of my friends and family? If a guy isn’t respectful towards the people you care about, the chances are he won’t ever be your boyfriend. It’s possible he’s not that serious about you, since most people try hard to impress the friends and family of people they are serious about. But it’s also possible that he is just a generally disrespectful person. And if this is a deal-breaker for you, you’re likely to give him the flick long before an official relationship starts between you.