Does He Want To Date You Or Just Be Friends? How To Tell

It’s always great when you meet someone new, especially if you’ve been single for a while and would love to find a relationship. However, sometimes it can be hard to figure out a guy’s intentions. Is he trying to flirt or does he just want to grab a cup of coffee as buds? Here’s how to tell if he’s looking for something more.

  1. He makes a point to get close. If a guy seems to be a little too into your personal space, he’s likely looking to ask you out. Just think, when did you last cozy up to a new person who you had no romantic interest in? He’s also testing the waters to see if he can feel any chemistry back. If you’re not comfortable with him and back away, he should get the message that you’re viewing this only as a friendship.
  2. He never talks about girls. From the looks of it, this guy isn’t taken. He doesn’t talk about other girls or mention his girlfriend and he’s never worn a ring to signify he’s already committed himself to someone else. If a mutual acquaintance mentions an ex, he downplays it a little since he doesn’t want you to assume he’s still hung up on someone. If he was just looking for friendship, the topic of dating wouldn’t be out of bounds whatsoever.
  3. He has asked you about your love life. And he’s done it in a playful way, probably soon after the two of you met. In doing this, he’s figuring out if he should waste the time pursuing you. Obviously, there was an initial attraction there, which is why he wanted his answer sooner rather than later. If he asks and then keeps a distance, he’s probably just curious; if he asks and then gets closer to you, he’s interested.
  4. He’s always curious about your weekend plans. We ask friends about their weekend plans usually to be polite and make conversation, but if there’s a guy who manages to ask you what you’re up to every weekend, he’s really hoping you’ll say you’re free for a date. If you’re interested in him but he’s slow to make a real move, try using this opportunity to see if he wants to visit a museum in town or check out a local concert.
  5. He makes a point to compliment you. I’m not saying that guys don’t compliment girls that they’re not interested in, but they usually don’t make a point of doing it. If he notices a new hairstyle or tells you he likes your shirt, he’s trying to flirt with you—especially if he says it with a smile.
  6. He always makes eye contact. Guys can be a little nervous sometimes, so if this one isn’t the most confident or experienced with women, he may have some trouble maintaining eye contact. However, if he’s feeling good about himself, he’ll try hard to look you in the eyes. This move means he’s completely devoted to you and the conversation the two of you are having.
  7. He stands up for you. Here’s the difference between being “one of the guys” and being someone that one of the guys wants to date: he’ll make a point not to take jokes too far. If he feels like you may be hurt by something someone else said or something that he said, he’ll try to rectify the situation. If he’s always on your side, he wants to be your partner.
  8. He keeps asking you why you’re still single. This one’s a dead giveaway and a great entry to progress your relationship if you’re into him too. He’s literally telling you that you’re the whole package. This isn’t something you just say to friends and a big sign that he’s crushing hard. It’s really difficult and somewhat scary if this is a guy you’ve had a decent friendship with some time, so not only is he testing the waters but he’s seeing your reaction (and hoping you’ll be the one to make the move from there).
  9. He always answers your texts. And if he ever stalls a bit, he immediately apologizes. This guy wants to let you know that he’s available and doesn’t want to miss a moment with you. Even if you’re the type of person to answer right away, guys typically take more time to write back if they’re not romantically interested in you.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.