If He Doesn’t Appreciate Your Independence, Dump Him Now

If He Doesn’t Appreciate Your Independence, Dump Him Now ©iStock/Martin-dm

The idea that a couple should be two halves of one whole is an antiquated one. These days, you’re probably looking for someone who is happy and complete all on his own, because independent people just make better life partners. You don’t need a guy to take care of you, and you aren’t going to pretend you do. If any guy doesn’t get that, he’s not the one for you.

  1. He might be controlling. If he’s intimidated by your independence, it’s probably because he’s used to being in charge. He’s used to being with a girl who lets him take care of everything and make all the decisions, so he’s not going to know how to deal with a girl who doesn’t really need him to do those things.
  2. He’s probably a little bit needy. If he doesn’t want you to be independent, it’s probably because he’s not really independent either. He wants a girlfriend who will spend all her time with him because he doesn’t have much else going on. That means every time you have plans with someone that isn’t him, he’ll be texting you all night wondering when you’ll be home.
  3. He’s selfish. A guy who wants to monopolize all your time and expects to be your priority immediately, doesn’t actually care about your happiness. He only cares about himself and what you can do for him, and he’ll try to make you feel guilty for not wanting to spend all your time with him.
  4. He’ll want you to be something you’re not. If you’re the type of person who needs a good amount of space, and is perfectly capable of being happily single, you probably aren’t going to change for anyone. If you have to change your personality to make it work with him, it’s never going to last anyway.
  5. You’ll end up butting heads. Guys who don’t appreciate independence have a strong desire to be needed, so it’s probably going to start to bother him when it becomes clear that you don’t need him. And getting into fights over your lack of neediness will get old fast.
  6. He probably doesn’t trust you. If he can’t handle the fact that you’re perfectly capable of living your life without his input, it’s probably because he doesn’t trust your judgement. If you’ve never given him a reason not to trust you, his lack of faith in you is nothing short of an insult.
  7. He’ll probably hold you back. He’s not encouraging you to get out there and be the strong, independent woman you are, which can only mean he’s holding you back from reaching your true potential.
  8. You aren’t compatible. He clearly needs a girl who prefers to let him take the lead in most things. You need a guy who wants a partner. Sometimes two people want opposite things, and that’s no one’s fault, it’s just life.
  9. If he doesn’t love you for who you are, he doesn’t love you. If you’re being honest, your independence is probably just one of many things about you that rub him the wrong way. But you are who you are, and if he doesn’t like it, why is he with you?
  10. There are plenty of guys out there who will love your independence. You might think it’s hard to find a guy who wants a strong, capable woman, but that’s definitely not the case. There are guys out there who are looking for someone just like you. And you’ll never regret holding out until you meet a guy who appreciates you, independence and all.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.