He Doesn’t Dislike Labels, He Just Doesn’t Want To Give You One

When you’re dating a guy you really like and he seems to feel the same about you, you’re probably tempted to ignore the fact that he’s still not comfortable with the boyfriend/girlfriend label and will do anything to avoid it. Seriously, what’s his problem?

  1. If he’s acting like your boyfriend, why won’t he call you his girlfriend? It doesn’t make any sense. He wants the perks of being in a relationship without actually having to put in the effort to be in one. That’s not fair on you, and if he’s too selfish to give you what you need then he’s not someone you should want as a partner.
  2. He doesn’t care about your needs. It’s selfish of him to expect you to be okay with something casual when you want more than that. A label isn’t just a label — it provides a sense of security and comfort. Without that label, it’s unclear just how long this is going to last or whether it’s just a bit of temporary fun for him. Either way, he needs to stop messing you around and be clear about his intentions.
  3. You don’t mean as much to him as he says you do. If a label is important to you, then it should also be important to him. His “I don’t like labels” attitude speaks for itself — he doesn’t want a serious relationship with you right now. If only the guy could be more upfront with you and say what’s on his mind instead of being a coward.
  4. No label means no expectations. Keeping things “casual” is exactly what he wants because it means that there are no expectations of him. As soon as you start calling him your boyfriend, he’s expected to be there whenever you need him, and that’s simply not something that he can commit to right now. For now, things are going well and he wants to keep it that way for as long as possible. The problem is you want more out of this relationship and he’s not providing that — move on.
  5. He likes single life way more than being in a relationship. Sure, being single is great, but if that’s the main thing holding him back from making a commitment to you, that’s a giant red flag. If the perks of being single are more appealing than having you as his girlfriend then you’re better off without him.
  6. It technically means that he’s free to do whatever the hell he wants. You’re not exclusive, so in his head, that means it’s acceptable for him to be seeing other women. The worst part is that you’re expected to be okay with this because he’s not officially your boyfriend, despite the fact that it certainly feels like you’re a couple. Don’t let him get away with this behavior!
  7. He probably wouldn’t like it if you started seeing other guys. Let’s be honest — as soon as you start getting out there and dating other guys he’s not going to be happy about that. Even though he can’t make a commitment to you, he expects you to stay loyal to him. WTF? Unless this guy opens his eyes and realizes what he wants, then he’s honestly not worth the effort.
  8. He can’t commit to you because his mind is somewhere else. It’s pretty obvious if a guy’s heart is in it or not, but if he’s on the fence about his feelings, maybe he’s not over his past relationships. As soon as you mention the R-word, he wants to turn and run away because he’s not ready for that just yet. That’s not your problem, so why should you wait for him?
  9. He wants to continue seeing you but on his own terms. If he’s dating you casually, he doesn’t feel any pressure to cater to your emotional needs or be there for you when you’re going through hard times. Sure, he’ll still spend time with you and enjoy your company but you won’t be his top priority. You’re so better off without this guy in your life.
  10. Why doesn’t he want people to know that you’re exclusive? It’s not like you’re asking him to get married, so why is he so hesitant to commit? Understandably, it’s going to make you overthink everything. Is there someone else? Is he keeping his options open? More importantly, will he EVER be ready for a relationship? Chances are, he won’t be changing his mind, and if he’s not treating you like you’re a priority right now then you shouldn’t waste any more time on him.
  11. He doesn’t see it going anywhere. Perhaps he likes you but he doesn’t like you enough. He wants to date you but he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend. To be blunt, he can tell you that he’s “scared of labels” but it simply means that he doesn’t want anything serious with you. A guy who’s really into you will never leave you questioning where you stand.
Coralle is a freelance writer and blogger with a special interest in Mental Health & wellness, Women's health, and relationships.

Find her at justcoralle.com