He Doesn’t Have To Have The Perfect Body, But He Needs To Care About His Health

Attraction is about more than just looks. Personality and compatibility also play a huge part in who I’m interested in and end up dating. A healthy person can come in all different shapes and sizes, so I’m not necessarily looking for a guy with the body of David Beckham. What I’m looking for is a guy who makes an effort to take care of himself and live a balanced lifestyle. No one is perfect, but a guy who doesn’t care about his health at all probably wouldn’t hold my interest for long.

  1. Bad habits will catch up with him. Sure, he might have a physical job and a fast metabolism when he’s 25, but what will happen in 10 years when he spends more time sitting at a desk and never formed healthy habits like meal planning and going out of his way to get exercise? He’s going to start noticing changes in how he feels and how he looks and by then it’s going to be a lot harder to reverse the damage he’s already done.
  2. I’ll wonder about his judgment. There are some things that most people know are bad for you, like drinking soft drinks all day every day and avoiding all kinds of physical activity. If he’s constantly doing things that are bad for him and generally isn’t in tune with his own body at all, I’m going to have to question his judgment. It’s not always easy to make healthy choices, but if the possibility of choosing water over a Coke doesn’t even cross his mind, I don’t think I’d stick around for long.
  3. He must not care about himself very much. A person who makes the effort to take care of themselves does it because they value their body and their life and wants to feel as good as they possibly can. If he doesn’t take care of himself, he must not think he’s worth the effort. His unhealthy habits could just be another sign of his general apathy about life.
  4. Some health problems can be prevented. There are plenty of health problems that are caused by a bad diet and lack of exercise. If he’s suffering from something he actually has the power to do something about, but he chooses to make no changes, it’s going to be hard for me to sympathetic. At some point, everyone has to take responsibility for their own health — if he’s not doing that, no one is going to do it for him.
  5. I don’t need to spend time with a bad influence. I like a slice of pizza and a strawberry milkshake just as much as the next person, but I definitely don’t indulge as much as I’d like to. If I’m dating a guy who’s constantly eating junk food in front of me, it’s going to test my willpower. I’m totally fine with eating it once in a while, but a guy with unhealthy habits is ultimately going to be nothing but a terrible influence.
  6. I’ll end up getting naggy about it. I’m not his mother and I don’t want to be the one to remind him to eat his vegetables and turn off the video games to go outside for some fresh air. It’s not my job to make sure he takes care of himself. I’m not going to put myself in a position where I’m invested in someone who just doesn’t care because I don’t like nagging.
  7. It’s just a turn-off. There are some unhealthy habits that I can’t deal with at all and one of them is smoking. It stinks, it isn’t as sexy as the movies make it seem, and it’s just dangerous and gross. We all know smoking causes huge health problems, so the idea that anyone would do it anyway is just insane to me. Anyone who cares about their health will do what they have to do to quit smoking.
  8. He won’t age well. Staying active and eating right when you’re young affects what you look like and how you feel as you get older. If he doesn’t take care of himself when he’s young, not only will he end up looking old and run down a lot sooner but he’ll start noticing the medical issues getting a lot more frequent. I don’t want to fall for someone who doesn’t plan on staying active as they get older because I don’t want to slow down if I don’t have to.
  9. Being an adult includes taking care of yourself. There comes a point when you have to start making your own meals and make time to stay active in between all your commitments. Your parents aren’t there to force you to go to soccer practice and eat a healthy breakfast. It might take some getting used to, but it’s part of being an adult. I don’t want to a date a guy who hasn’t figured that out yet.
  10. He’s probably lazy. At the most basic level, a guy who doesn’t care about his health is just straight up lazy. It’s easy to eat fast food all the time and sit on the couch drinking beer and playing video games in your free time. Meal planning, carving out time to exercise, and finding the willpower to kick your bad habits is hard, but it’s also doable. Plenty of people do it — and personally, I’d much rather date one of those people.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.