If He Doesn’t Love Your Soul, Don’t Let Him Have Your Body

Obviously you want the guy you’re dating to be sexually attracted to you and vice versa, and there’s no shame in that. Physical chemistry is important, but it’s certainly not all there is. You want a guy who respects and admires your amazing mind and loving heart, NOT just your body. If sex is all he’s after, he’s just not worth your time. Here’s why there needs to be more:

  1. You’re worth more than just your body. It’s great that he thinks you’re hot and sexy, and it’s great for you to feel that way about yourself. However, there’s so much more to you than your physical appearance. Your personality, morals, goals, ideas and feelings should all be just as important to him. If they’re not, he shouldn’t be important to you.
  2. He needs to put a little effort in if he wants to sleep with you. He needs to know he has to earn his right to be with you and have your body. That means getting to know you and investing time in learning who you are and what you’re all about because he’s actually interested, not because he’s waiting to get to the end of the conversation so he can move things to the bedroom.
  3. Your inner beauty is what lasts. You can be hot as hell with a supermodel body and that’s great — flaunt it if you’ve got it — but honestly, you want a guy who can see beyond that and look deeper than surface level. If he plans on staying around long-term (and honestly, you probably don’t want to sleep with him anyway if he doesn’t), he should know that those hidden qualities are the ones that stand the test of time.
  4. You deserve to be appreciated for all your unique qualities. There are beautiful women everywhere, which is perfect for the guy who’s only after the chase. You want a guy who wants something real, which means he needs to really delve into your more unique qualities and idiosyncrasies. Only then will he truly be able to appreciate what makes you, you.
  5. You can’t settle for someone who only sees part of you. It’s flattering to be told you’re sexy and hot AF, but after a while, it starts to get old. You start itching for something more and you start wanting the guy who sees all of you, not just the parts on show. If he’s not interested in that in the beginning, what does that say for any potential relationship you might have?
  6. You don’t want a guy who’s only looking for a night of fun. The guys who go on and on about your appearance or how attracted they are to you just come off as sleazy (and frankly, they kind of are). They’re just looking for a night of instant gratification, but that’s BS. You’re so much more than that and you don’t give your body to just anyone. Guys need to know this.
  7. You’re above the compliments. Frankly, compliments about all the things that really matter — your accomplishments, your hard work, your amazing personality — are way more important than lavish praise about your physical appearance. It’s nice and all, but if that’s all a guy has in his arsenal, you’re better off moving on.
  8. Sexiness starts in your mind. You can be physically sexy, but real sexiness is more of a state of mind and all about attitude, how you carry yourself, and how your mind works. Intelligence is hot AF — way hotter than perfectly perky boobs or a tiny waist. Wait for the guy who prizes intelligence and finds you sexy for having such a gorgeous brain. He’s a keeper.
  9. You’re not there for his pleasure. It’s insulting to think that some guys expect you to dress in a certain way to be appealing or assume that you’re looking for sex if you’re dressing up. You dress the way you want and honestly, a guy who’s really into you won’t care because he sees beyond your body.
  10. You need a guy who likes mental stimulation. Is there anything sexier than a man who likes to be mentally stimulated and challenged? That is so much hotter than a guy who’s only got sculpted abs going for him. It works the same the other way around. You want a guy who wants to get into deep conversations with you and will challenge you on an emotional and mental level. That’s where the real sexy connection takes place, and it’s so much better than lust.
  11. You filter out the jerks by taking the focus off the physical. You don’t have time to waste on guys who are just looking for one thing or trying their luck with getting you into the sack. You can weed out these jerks by focusing on the guys who want more than just your body. These quality guys are genuinely interested in you and they offer real depth in a dating world that sometimes feels like it’s become the shallow end of the pool.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.