If He Doesn’t Make You Feel These Things, Don’t Marry Him

If He Doesn’t Make You Feel These Things, Don’t Marry Him ©iStock/Svetikd

Think about the guy you want to marry someday. Got him in mind? Okay. Now decide if he makes you feel all of the things below — if he doesn’t, you might want to reconsider walking down the aisle with him.

  1. Excited. When you think about a future together, are you ecstatic or a little unsure? If you’re feeling anything but excited about spending the rest of your lives together, probably best to go ahead and shut down his impending proposal. (Or if you’re already engaged you might want to consider, you know, NOT going through with the wedding.)
  2. Proud. When you’re together in public and see people you know, are you happy to introduce him as your significant other or are you embarrassed about what they’ll think of him? If you don’t feel proud to call him your boyfriend, imagine how awkward you’re going to feel when you have to tell people he’s your husband.
  3. Secure. Do you know without a doubt that you can trust him to be faithful? That your relationship is strong enough to bear the storms that are inevitable in a long term relationship? If he can’t offer you reassurance that you two can survive as a couple, it’s probably not worth getting married. You’ll most likely end up divorcing later on anyway.
  4. Safe. Does his presence make you feel protected or do you feel uneasy whether or not he’s around? If you don’t feel safe, you shouldn’t be with him in the first place. Sure, you can take care of yourself, but you should also feel like he’ll take care of you if need be, too.
  5. Giddy. Remember when you first started dating and every minute together felt like the most incredible moment of your life? Like you couldn’t get enough of each other because you were both so insanely happy? That’s how your future husband should make you feel — maybe not every day, but most days.
  6. Appreciated. When you do things for him, does he show his appreciation or does it seem like he hardly notices? If he doesn’t let you know that the things you do make a difference to him, it really shouldn’t make a difference to him if you leave, right?
  7. Equal. Are things usually 50/50 (paying for dates, doing chores, time spent at your place or his) or is it seemingly impossible to compromise? If you feel you aren’t treated as his equal, don’t stick around to find out what his idea of a marital partnership is like — obviously this guy doesn’t understand how “partners” work.
  8. Wanted. Or in other words, sexy. If he doesn’t show his physical attraction to you on a regular basis, how will your marriage ever survive? Probably best to call it quits before you get sucked into a passionless marriage.
  9. Respected. Does he treat you the way he wants to be treated? The golden rule applies to everything in life, including relationships. If you feel like you don’t receive enough respect from him now, his disrespect will only grow once he feels you have no choice but to stay with him and deal with being treated like crap.
  10. Heard. Do you feel like he listens to you when you talk? Like, REALLY listens? If he is just brushing off everything you say with a nod or “uh-huh,” he’s not bothering to hear what you have to say. And what you have to say matters, especially in a marriage.
  11. Valuable. Does he get distraught when he thinks about the idea of losing you? If the thought of you no longer being in his life doesn’t seem to phase him, he obviously doesn’t find you valuable. And if you’re so replaceable to him, might as well let him start looking for that replacement now.
  12. Loved. Because a marriage without love is just a legal contract, and how dissatisfying is that? You deserve a guy who makes you feel loved beyond measure. Don’t settle for anything less.
Kristan is a 24-year-old blogger from the cornfields of Terre Haute, Indiana. She spends her days working in accounting, and her nights trying to change the world with her words. You can find her on Instagram and Twitter @kristangible, or read her blog at kristangible.com.