He Doesn’t Have Time For A Relationship? Oh Please! That’s Really Code For Something Else

You love spending time with him and he’s made his feelings clear, but then he throws a curveball: “I just don’t have time for a relationship.” Um, what? Is this a breakup? Spoiler alert: the dude’s probably lying. Here are 14 things you need to know about a guy who pulls this crap.

  1. It might not be a breakup, but don’t rejoice. He might say, “No, I still want to be with you, but just not in a serious relationship.” Ah, so he’s into a hookup then? He’s really saying that he still wants you around but you’re not going to be his girlfriend anytime soon. Ugh.
  2. What, he’s “too busy?” Next, the guy’s going to say he’s way too busy to see you for dinner or to hang out at the weekend. Great. So now you’re one of those women who believe his BS lies when he’s just not keen to see you. Don’t become that woman.
  3. Everyone has time, for goodness’ sake. When a great woman comes along, only a jerk will waste a chance with her because he doesn’t have time. Oh, please. Everyone is busy, and yet people are still getting into relationships, getting married, and having kids. A real man with real feelings for you will make time.
  4. He’s leading you on. Backtrack for a second: how did this guy have so much time before to date you? Did his schedule suddenly become too hectic to handle? Please. He’s just changing his tune because he’s changed his mind about you.
  5. He’s confused AF. He might really be confused about what he feels but it’s still not something you should have to deal with. You want to be with a man who knows what he feels and what he wants, not someone who’s all over the place.
  6. On the other hand, he could be lying. Of course, by claiming to be confused or not have time, he could be lying. He could be trying to let you down gently when the truth is that he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.
  7. He wants to come and go as he pleases. If a guy tells you he doesn’t have time but he’s still in your life, it’s a huge red flag that you’re dealing with a selfish douchebag. He just wants to be able to enter your life and leave it whenever it’s convenient for him with no relationship demands or expectations. What a load of crap! You can do better.
  8. If you buy it, you keep the cycle going. If you believe this guy’s just too busy to see you and too busy to be in a real relationship with you, not only do you hurt yourself by staying with this loser but you also keep the cycle going. You allow other men to do the same thing to you. Hell no. Enough with these time-wasters!
  9. It’s the same as not being ready. When he says he doesn’t have time, it’s probably just a way for him to say he’s not ready for a real relationship, and you sure as hell don’t believe that, right? Again, it might be true but what are you doing with this guy? You should be with a man who wants something real and is man enough to deal with a serious relationship.
  10. He’s selfish. If he were really busy and didn’t have time, he’d meet you halfway and try to find a solution because he values and respects you. He wouldn’t throw your relationship in front of a bus.
  11. What’s he bringing to your life? He’s so worried about his time and his life, but what about you? Does a guy who can only be in a limited relationship with you really deserve you? He’s actually denying you of what you need in a relationship. It’s totally unfair.
  12. You’re in a dead-end. What could possibly come of waiting around for this guy? You might be fine with a limited relationship for a while, but sooner or later it’s not going to satisfy you. His behavior will end up matching his words. He might start taking rain-checks on dates or just stand you up, always saying “I don’t have time.” That’s not the kind of relationship you need.
  13. The only way is a clean break. You’re clearly on different pages, so the only thing you can do is move on and find someone who will let you into his life instead of just sections of it, and who doesn’t make you feel like you’re number 300 on his list of priorities.
  14. It’s really a lucky escape. Don’t feel like you’re missing out on a chance with this guy. More than likely, the excuse of not having time means that he was going to fade out of your life anyway. If not, then he would’ve just stayed with you for as long as he could get what he wanted, like relationship perks without putting a girlfriend title on you. Either way, it would’ve been drama that he would’ve brought to your life. Nothing good would’ve come of it so it’s really no loss to you.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.