If you’re not a dog mom, you probably know a dog mom and you’re probably super annoyed by them. If you think moms share photos of their children too much or talk about their kids way too much, you’d better steer clear of me. I often say that my dog is the love of my life, and while I’m mostly joking, it’s kind of true that my dog is more emotionally available than any man I’ve ever dated.
My dog is the best little spoon. How many times have you had to beg your boyfriend to cuddle with you, only for him to groan, spoon you for like five minutes before rolling away and falling asleep? I’ll tell you the best cuddler—a dog! My dog literally wants to cuddle with me the second I’m not in motion. I sit on the couch? He’s there. I lay down on the bed? He’s there. He’s also a pit bull so he loves getting under the covers and being as close as possible, which also means he’s my own personal space heater in the winter.
Nothing but excitement greets me when I get home. I can come home after a hard day and know that nothing but pure joy will greet me at the door—and yep, it’s because of my dog. My boyfriend might turn his head away from the TV to say, “What’s up?” That’s a big might. On the other hand, my trusty best friend greets me, licks me, hugs me and lets me know it’s okay if I just want to lay on the couch with him all night. If my boyfriend did that, I’d probably wonder what the hell he did wrong.
My dog doesn’t complain when I want to take a dozen selfies. My dog will take selfies with me all day. How many times has your boyfriend groaned when you ask for yet another picture? Well, I can tell you how to fix that. Get a dog. I’ve been with my boyfriend for the same length of time that I’ve had my dog and I have about 200 times more pictures of my dog and me then I do of me and my boyfriend.
There’s no shortages on kisses. Okay, so it may not be exactly what you had in mind for kisses but I promise you that there won’t be any shortage or doubt that dogs mean it when they kiss you. Don’t be scared of dog kisses, either—they’re the best!
My dog doesn’t judge my eating habits. In fact, he encourages them. As I’m eating my second bowl of cereal, I see the judgment coming from a mile away from my boyfriend. Meanwhile, my dog sits in front of me, encouraging me to keep eating more and possibly drop some on the floor.
My dog encourages my health and fitness. As much as he encourages my eating everything, my dog also encourages and my health and fitness. If it weren’t for my dog, there are many days when I might not even leave my desk. He makes me get up, go for a walk and get some fresh air.
He appreciates my tokens of affection. I’ve never given any boyfriend a present that got them as excited as my dog gets every time I give him a treat or a new toy. He also loves every single thing I give him equally. No worries if it isn’t the “right” or “best” present—it’s going to get ripped up in two seconds anyway!
My dog will never leave me. I know without a doubt that my dog would never leave me. I mean, he doesn’t have a choice, but he’s definitely loyal… except for those times he sees a rabbit or a turkey in our yard. He leaves me for those every. Single. Time.
He’s a little emotionally psychic. My dog knows my emotions possibly before I ever do. When I’m down, he knows to be calm and lay near me and just cuddle me. When I’m happy and upbeat, he knows to be goofy and it’s playtime. He knows exactly what I need and when.
He’s always positive. Ever had a boyfriend that was just a drag or brought you down mentally? Not with a dog. My dog literally is the most positive creature I’ve ever met. A car ride? That’s not just a car ride to him—it’s a psychedelic space rocket from the way he acts. He greets other dogs as if he’s never seen them in his life even though they just chilled yesterday. He eats every thing as if it’s his last meal.
My dog is the best listener. He’ll literally listen to anything and everything I say—no complaints, no judgment. Okay, so he’s actually sleeping through most of it, but whatever. At least he’s not interrupting me every chance he gets to tell me about his new video game.
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