If You’re Doing These Things, You’re Coming Off As Desperate

You might not be desperate to find someone, but maybe your actions are telling a completely different story. Here are 10 signs you’re coming off like your crush is the last person on earth.

  1. You always double-check plans. You’re the one who will confirm and re-confirm date plans. While it’s obviously good to know where you stand with the person because you don’t want to waste your time, it can be seen as clingy if you’re checking all the time. 
  2. You always initiate contact. You don’t have to wait for the person to contact you all the time, but you shouldn’t be jumping ahead to be the first to make contact every single time either. Not only does it seem like you’re desperate to talk to them, but it doesn’t give them a chance to miss you.
  3. You contact them way too regularly. It’s not just making contact first that you should note—it’s not a good thing if you’re always contacting the person a lot either. That could mean texting them multiple times a day, even when you know they’re busy, which isn’t good. Imagine what you’d think if the person did that to you. Um, clingy much?
  4. You send another text when you don’t get a reply. You might not send a double text, but you’ll send a completely different text to what you previously sent and which never got a reply. You might think it’s a clever way to get in touch again without simply re-sending the same text, but if you do this often the other person will see it as you screaming, “Why aren’t you talking to me?!”
  5. You always retweet their tweets. It’s fine to retweet your crush’s extremely funny and entertaining tweet, but if you’re retweeting everything they say, this gives them the impression that you’re legit stalking them on social media.
  6. You like every single selfie they post. In the same way that you shouldn’t go OTT with the person’s social media posts, liking all their pics, whether on Instagram or Facebook, can make it seem like you’re watching their every move. The worst behavior of all: “liking” their pics that date back to 2008. Eek. Now you’re really being a stalker.
  7. You always book another date at the end of your current one. It’s great when you’ve had such an amazing date with someone that you tell them you’d love to see them again before you’ve even left the restaurant where you had a date. But if you’re always the one booking them in for dinner or drinks instead of letting them come to you, that can make you seem a tad too eager. Even worse, you don’t get to see if they really like you enough to ask you out on another date or if they’re just going with your idea.
  8. You drop everything for them. Of course you want to spend as much time as possible with the new person you’re dating, but don’t let them think that they can snap their fingers and you’ll run to them. You’re worth more than that and you have a life that’s been flourishing without this person in it, so don’t neglect it for them. If you show the person that they’re the center of your world from the start, this can give them the impression that you value them more than yourself… even though you’ve just met. Eek.
  9. You say ‘nothing’ when asked what you’re doing on the weekend. You might do this in the hope that they’ll ask you out, but it can backfire. It sends the message that you’re waiting around for them to make a move. Hell no. A queen never waits for someone to give her something to do! Don’t give off that impression because while it might not matter what the person thinks of you, you should value yourself a bit more.
  10. You give way too much information. If you’re quick to spill the beans on everything about yourself and your life, you’re not just oversharing. You’re basically saying, “Hey, here’s me on a platter! Enjoy!” Whatever happened to the excitement of getting to know someone and taking your time to reveal what you’re about? Doing that is much more fun. Plus, you don’t give yourself away to every person who’s not even worth your precious time.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.