If You’re Doing These Things, Guys Are Going To Take Advantage Of You

In a perfect world, love wouldn’t be a game at all — it’d be something people approached with honesty, respect, and the genuine intention of finding someone to build a future with. Since that’s obviously not the case, you have to learn how to play so the game of love doesn’t end up playing you. Where do you stand? Ask yourself these questions:

  1. You fall for every guy you meet. If you see love everywhere you look, maybe you need to be a little more selective. You shouldn’t be interested in every guy that looks your way — you have standards and shouldn’t be lowering them for the sake of upping your chances of getting into a relationship. It’s okay to be a little picky in love — that’s how you sort the good ones from the bunch.
  2. You dont play hard to get. If you’re not playing hard to get even slightly then you may be coming off as a bit too desperate. If you’re too clingy or attainable right off the bat, it seems like you’re willing to go out with just anyone. Guys want what they can’t have, so let them chase you. You’re not just playing hard to get — you ARE hard to get because you’re not going to settle for just any guy. You want the right guy and that makes all the difference.
  3. You confuse lust for love. Maybe you thought it was love at the time, but when you think about your past relationships, do you still feel the same? You can’t be the girl who cried love. If you keep calling love too quickly then you’ll never know what being in love actually feels like. You have to stop looking for love and just let it find you, because when it’s real, you’ll just know it.
  4. You trust people too easily. Never forget that a guy needs to earn your trust. It’s a foundation that you build together. You can’t trust a guy you just met — you don’t even know each other yet, no matter how great he seems. Before you lay down your heart and make a huge mistake, make sure he’s a guy that’s worth your while and not a stranger you can’t trust.
  5. You’ve had your heart broken way too many times. It’s okay to get your heart broken, but you shouldn’t always be on the receiving end of a breakup. Not that you want to hurt guys, but if you’re the one always getting broken up with, maybe you’re doing something wrong… like falling for the wrong kind of guys. Playing the game of love is always a risk, but take your time to pick the good ones from the heartbreakers.
  6. You either don’t notice or outright ignore red flags. If you get your heart broken and your friends are constantly saying, “I told you so” then they obviously see something you keep missing. Open your damn eyes. There are some flaws you can’t (or shouldn’t) look past. If you want to stop getting hurt, you have to start being a little smarter. Spot the red flags and then run like hell.
  7. You’re too quick to forgive. You can’t excuse bad boy behavior — that just gives men permission to walk all over you. Not all men deserve your forgiveness, and further than that, just because you forgive him doesn’t mean you need to forget his actions. Guys make mistakes like everyone else and maybe they don’t learn from them, but you should. The only way to break free of his pattern is to learn it and never fall for a playboy’s BS again.
  8. Your previous relationships make you feel like a fool. Looking back, do you feel stupid for not realizing what a total jerk your ex was? Why weren’t you aware of that fact in the moment and what can you do to prevent that from happening the next time you fall in love? If you don’t learn from your mistakes, then you really are a fool in love.
  9. You give guys second chances that they don’t deserve. Some men don’t deserve a second chance. If you’re constantly getting back together with Mr. Wrong, you’ll never be available for Mr. Right. If he doesn’t take your relationship seriously the first time around then maybe he doesn’t deserve you. Second chances should be far and few between because a great guy knows how to use his first chance wisely.
  10. You don’t call guys on their BS. If you’re not standing up for yourself in dating then you’re going to get walked all over. You shouldn’t have to put up with bad boy behavior just to have a boyfriend. You deserve a man who treats you right, but unless you start calling out the BS, then all you’ll ever be is some jerk’s weak girlfriend.
  11. You struggle to move on. If you can’t let go of the past, you’ll never have the future you want. You can’t keep waiting on the one that got away. You need to move on and let go so that your heart is open to someone new. Your ex wasn’t your last chance at love, and you won’t win the dating game until you realize that.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.