If He’s Doing Any Of These Things, You’re Probably Not His Only Relationship

No decent woman wants to date a man who already has a steady partner, but unfortunately, it happens to way too many of us. The signs of being The Other Women aren’t always as obvious as finding another girl’s underwear on your bedroom floor, so be on the lookout for these clues that you’re not the only woman in your guy’s life:

  1. In spite of his selfie habit, he’s “camera shy” with you. You’ll get all kinds of excuses. He’s never ready, you’re not getting his good side, the lighting isn’t right, yadda yadda yadda. It all amounts to the same thing: he loves taking pictures, but he wants to make sure no one sees you in them with him.
  2. The other woman you keep spotting in his photos is just his sister, his cousin, a family friend. It’s one thing if a guy has pictures with lots of different girls. Then it’s safe to believe that he’s got a cadre of exes, sisters, friends, cousins, and acquaintances who are women. However, if you spot the same woman in more than a handful of his photos, be suspicious. Seriously. That girl is not his sister. She doesn’t even look like him.
  3. He won’t tag you in anything, and you’d better not tag him. On the rare occasions you do capture a photo of the two of you, he’s adamant that you don’t tag him in it on social media. In fact, you’re not to tag him anywhere, ever, not even once. Don’t worry, though — he won’t tag you, either. That may seem trite and unimportant, but c’mon. It’s 2017. Tagging people in photos is what we do.
  4. He often cancels or even stands you up. Either he cancels at the last minute, or he just doesn’t show up. Sometimes he texts to let you know, but he practically never calls. You know why? It’s because his wife or girlfriend is with him, and it’s hard to call your side chick when your main squeeze is right there.
  5. He almost never calls you. This is a subtle, sneaky sign because hardly anyone bothers with the phone these days. It’s not uncommon to talk to someone infrequently, even someone you’re dating. You don’t have to pay attention to how often he calls, just pay attention to when he calls — is it always after 7 pm? What happens if you call him? It probably goes straight to voicemail almost every time, but does he ever flip his lid because you called? Something isn’t adding up.
  6. The two of you have a “special spot.” It’s where you always go for dates. It’s supposed to come off as romantic, but the truth probably isn’t so rosy. More than likely, he takes you to your special spot because nobody in his life goes there. He won’t run into friends, coworkers, family members… or his REAL girlfriend.
  7. He flips out out if you go near his phone. Seriously, his phone is with him all the time, and he gets visibly antsy if he doesn’t have it. He practically gets squeamish if you walk up behind him while he’s on his phone. He won’t even show you pictures or websites on it. That phone for his eyes alone.
  8. He’s pretty much never available on weekends or holidays. The holidays, especially the major holidays, are never an option. Who knows what excuse he gives, but it probably involves going away to visit his family or flying to the Ivory Coast to feed hungry children. On minor holidays and the occasional weekend, you may see or hear from him, but it happens at the oddest times, like mid-afternoon on a Sunday.
  9. Your texting always turns into sexting. Always. It doesn’t matter what you’re talking about at the beginning of your conversation; it inevitably devolves into sexting. It’s probably to the point where you respond half-heartedly in the midst of doing other more important things.
  10. You don’t know any of his friends, and you’ve never met his family. It’s not even an option. He’s met your friends, they know all about him, and you may have even casually introduced him to your family. Reciprocity is not happening here. He can’t afford to let you meet his family or his friends. They know the reality of his situation.
  11. Spending the night together is exceptionally rare, if it happens at all. Booty calls are pretty standard, sure, and you can easily spend whole evenings together. Sometimes, he’ll even stay very late. Staying the night, however, that’s a special treat.
  12. He always wants to come to your place, but have you even seen his? Seriously, have you? There are so many ways for a guy to get around this. It’s odd, but several excuses are technically believable. However, if you don’t even know where he lives, then girl, you need to run.
  13. You have sex, not dates. Beyond visiting your “special place,” do you really go anywhere? Does he take you out, show you off, kiss you, or hold your hand in public? If it’s all Netflix and chill without the Netflix or the chill, someone else is probably the recipient of his genuine affection.
west virginia native, new hampshire transplant, parisian in the depths of my unimpressed soul. owner of an impressive resting bitch face. writer and reader. fluent in sarcasm and snark. lover of lower case and the oxford comma.