Sorry To Tell You, But If You’re Doing These Things, You’ll Be Single A Long Time

While you shouldn’t have to change yourself to be worthy of love, there are certain things you may be doing that either scare off the right guys or stop you from meeting them at all. If you’re doing any of these things, don’t expect to find yourself in a relationship anytime soon:

  1. Faking it ‘til you make it While you’re looking for your perfect guy, you may naively believe that you have to be the perfect girl to get him. We’ve all been guilty of changing, downplaying or outright faking aspects of our personalities to make someone like us, but it ALWAYS backfires. Whether you pretend to be a sports enthusiast or a history buff, it won’t be long until you’re found out. You can’t keep up a charade like that for the entirety of your relationship — nor should you, because that’s just plain exhausting. You want a guy who likes you for you.
  2. Idealizing what a relationship actually is Do you have an image in your mind of how a relationship should be? You know that everyone has flaws, but you still believe that when you meet the right guy, your love will be pure and everything will be sunshine and rainbows 24/7 forever. Then, when the reality doesn’t match up with the dream you’ve been holding on to, you freak out and leave. Yikes.
  3. Dating guys who disrespect you Are you addicted to dating guys who don’t know how to treat you? When a guy disrespects you, that should be more than enough to make you leave. You should never, ever stick around believing that you can change his ways or make him see your value. Doing so will only make you miserable — and no guy who loves you would treat you like that.
  4. Being on ‘high alert’ for your dream guy Whenever you go out, your eyes are darting around the room. You enter a bar and before even getting a drink, you’re scanning the place for your potential Mr. Right. It’s a cliche, but when you come across as desperate, it shows. No guy is going to be interested in a girl like that.
  5. Analyzing everything a guy says Ladies, guys are not as complex as we’d like to believe. Spending your time analyzing texts for hidden messages is about as productive as trying to read the guy’s mind. The truth is that men don’t pack their sentences full of subtext and hidden meanings; they usually just say what they mean. If you’re not getting the hint, maybe it’s your problem.
  6. Judging men for everything that they do There’s nothing wrong with having high standards; every lady out there deserves a man who is worthy of her affections. Still, if you have a strict mental checklist for every date you go on, you’re bound to be let down. Here’s a little secret: people are not perfect. You’re not perfect, so when you meet a guy who doesn’t quite live up to your outlandish expectations, give him a break. He’s human too.
  7. Paying too much attention to your girlfriends’ advice Your BFFs are there when you need them most, and you likely run to them every five minutes with your dating woes. While their advice is valuable, it’s not gospel. Sometimes, listening to every little thing that they say can actually ruin a potential relationship. You have to be strong enough to trust your inner voice and do what’s right for you. Your girlfriends will do the same.
  8. Believing that there are right and wrong things to say Talking to a date should be just like chatting to a friend. If you’re silently vetting every word you utter before you speak, you’re not being true to yourself. If you ever hope to find love, you have to be authentic. Having a guy fall for a mimic of what you think you should be will get you nowhere fast.
  9. Moving too fast whenever you meet someone When you meet a guy that you like, do you try to force the situation? If you go from strangers to soulmates in less than a week, you’re probably moving a tad too fast for your own good. Yes, you might think that this man is the one, but rushing things with him will only mean that you miss out on all the fun ‘getting to know you’ activities. If it’s meant to be, things will move along naturally.
  10. Chasing after the wrong guys When a guy tells you straight up that he doesn’t want something serious, you’d be a fool not to listen. Many women think that they can change a guy’s mind and make him fall for them. They paint the man as the villain for “stringing them along” when in reality, they’ve been honest about their intentions from the get-go. If this behavior sounds like you, you need to figure a few things out in your own head before you date. Only then will you be ready to find a guy who wants to be with you.
Charlotte is a freelance writer who's addicted to binge-watching TV, drinking far too much coffee, and writing articles.