Every time I get close to some type of relationship, it blows up in my face — either I call it quits because the guy’s just not right for me or I never get a chance to because he ghosts me. It took me a while to figure out just why my dating life sucked so much, but then it hit me: I overanalyze EVERYTHING and it drives me (and the guys I date) crazy. Not anymore, though — I’m done screwing myself and my relationships over. Here’s why:
- Analyzing was a slippery slope into pure insanity. Overthinking always led to more of the same, which eventually led to social media stalking. I wouldn’t simply analyze why I hadn’t heard from a guy, I’d check out his Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts for clues as to why he was too busy to hit me up. It was enough to drive anyone crazy.
- Asking is always better. I realized something important: it takes more time and energy to throw around possibilities than to just simply ask, “Why didn’t you text me back?” There’s no way I’d know the answer to that question unless I straight up asked him. Sure, I could come up with my own reasons but they’d probably be completely off-base and therefore totally pointless. I’m done wasting so much time on stupid things.
- It’s way too easy to misread situations. Whenever I’d analyze something, I’d completely miss the mark. I’d misread the situation because I was too focused on finding a deeper, hidden meaning in something that didn’t have one. Sometimes, “Hey, I’m busy this weekend” means just that — nothing more, nothing less. I’m going to take things at face value more often (or at least try).
- I don’t want to be that girl. We all have that friend who calls at 10 p.m. to go over the text messages her crush sent her that day (no matter how basic the conversation was). You love her but she’s annoying as hell, right? It’s as if she’s bored and just creating drama for herself. Well, I’m that friend. Or rather, I used to be — until I made the decision to stop being so annoying to everyone around me.
- I want some mystery in my life. Analyzing everything took away the mystery. Instead of trying to figure out why a guy said this and he did that, I’d rather not worry about it! Ignorance is beautiful, right? I don’t need to know everything, especially things that don’t really matter. “Why didn’t he send an emoji with his text message?” Who the hell cares?!
- Such a time waster. Analyzing wasn’t a one and done thing — NEVER! I’d start off with one question, like, “Why haven’t I heard from him today?” I’d end with thousands more, a headache, and a pissed off attitude. Thinking became too time-consuming, especially when the question I was asking led to more questions instead of answers.
- My friends weren’t mind readers. My friends loved analyzing things with me — LOVED! — but usually, they had no idea what they were talking about! Don’t get me wrong, they sounded like credible sources, but no one knows what’s going on in someone else’s head (not for sure, anyway). Talking to my friends about relationship stuff never worked for me. It only led to me getting more fired up about the situation, which never helped.
- Analyzing every little thing became second nature. Analyzing became a habit — and a bad one at that. The more I analyzed, the more it became second nature. Most of the time, I didn’t even know I was doing it. I’d just think and think and think about EVERYTHING — even things that couldn’t be clearer. If a guy said he liked me, I wouldn’t leave it at that. I’d wonder just exactly how much and why he chose that specific time to tell me — it never ended.
- It took a major hit on my confidence. I always thought I was the problem. When I analyzed, I’d pick myself apart more than the situation. “Is he not responding because he’s found someone better?” “Have I not heard from him today because he’s done with me?” Constantly asking these questions made me feel horrible about myself and caused my confidence to plummet unnecessarily.
- It’s never worked before. Analyzing things to death has never worked out for me, obviously. I could either keep doing it and remain single or stop, find love, and live happily ever after. As much as the idea of a relationship freaks me out, dying single sounds even less appealing, so it’s decided. If I want a relationship to work, I have to stop analyzing it to pieces. Done — well, working on it, at least.
