I’m Done Exhausting Myself Looking For Love—I’m Waiting For It To Come To Me

While everyone is breaking their backs (and thumbs) sifting through dating apps, looking for the perfect person to date, I prefer to just lay back and let fate do the work. Here’s why I’m content waiting for love to come to me.

  1. Love isn’t worth stressing over. Much of finding love is down to chance. I mean, sure, you can definitely take it upon yourself to join a dating app and make your way through the millions of guys on there until you find the one you think is YOUR one… or you can just sit back and wait for fate to bring you the right guy. I choose the latter.
  2. It’s always when I let go of something that it ends up actually happening. When I think of all the times in my life when I didn’t care about something happening, that’s when it always did. It’s crazy how it works, but I swear the less I think about something the more likely it is that it’ll come to me. I’m pretty sure that’s the basic the law of the universe.
  3. I feel like fate probably yields better results anyway. I have lots of friends who play the dating game and actively put themselves out there and yes, they definitely get results. Still, the kinds of guys they end up with just don’t seem like the perfect ones for them. When you leave your love life up to fate, it’s way more likely that you’ll bump into your soulmate because your mind isn’t distracted with all these ideas and judgments about every guy you meet. You’re open to receive, so to speak.
  4. I’m lazy by nature. I’m already a couch potato when it comes to most things so why would my love life be any different? When you consider the insane numbers game you’re playing on dating apps, it just seems like way too much effort for so little payoff. I’d rather chill out and let the universe sort it out. I feel like taking a passive role here will probably work out best in the end.
  5. I’ve accepted what life would be like if love doesn’t come. I think the reason I’m OK with waiting for love to come to me is that I’m already good on my own and know that I’ll be just fine if I never find the perfect person. Of course I’m hoping for it, but it’s not my life’s purpose. There’s so much more to my existence than romantic relationships so I’m not worried about it.
  6. I have better things to do than to go around chasing guys. When love comes, it’ll be great; in the meantime, I have way more important things to do than sifting mindlessly through the millions of guys out there in hopes of finding my soulmate. That’s just silly to me. I have a career to focus on, an amazing group of friends, a supportive family, loads of hobbies and passions… my life is pretty full as-is.
  7. Whenever I do chase a guy, it never turns out well. I’ve had terrible experiences when it comes to chasing guys and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Guys get weirded out easily if you actively try to date them. They end up feeling like you’re controlling the situation too much and get turned off. It’s a shame because that kinda takes the power away from women to take action. On the other hand, I’m actually glad that it’s mostly up to the guys to do all the hunting. It would just be way too much to worry about if I had to do it.
  8. I like to think that if love comes into my life, it means that I’m ready for it. The fact that I’m letting love come to me must mean that I’m ready to handle it when it does. If I go ahead and put myself on a dating app or ask a guy out, how do I know that it’s the right time to do that? When the right person comes along, it’ll feel right and if it’s meant to happen, it will.
  9. At least I’ll know he really wants to be with me. Some people on dating apps are somewhat desperate, to be honest. They’d be happy to be with basically anyone and if you even vaguely fit the bill, they’ll just latch onto you. I can’t trust that whoever’s on these dating apps really wants to be with me for me and not just because I’m available. It’s better to just wait for the right person to find me than to be let down by someone who isn’t sure about being with me.
  10. We shouldn’t be treating love like some kind of achievement. Love is something that flows in and out of your life. It’s not something you’re supposed to find or capture. I mean, when the right person comes along, then yes, do what you can to win them over, but actively trying to find a date is not only exhausting, it feels like cheating fate.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.