I don’t know about you, but my friends are constantly asking me for relationship advice. For a while, I was happy to give it, but then I started thinking, why am I bothering? So they can ignore me, do whatever they want, and keep complaining? No thanks. I’m done dispensing any kind of relationship wisdom to my friends — here’s why:
- They never take it. Honestly, I’m sick of wasting my time. I used to give my friends relationship advice the second they asked for it. I would channel my inner Oprah Winfrey and take the time to craft honest and unbiased feedback, and what would they do with it? Not a damn thing.
- I refuse to be responsible for their decisions. I don’t want to be responsible for ending a relationship. If my friends ask whether or not they should dump their boyfriend, I’m not answering. That’s their decision and I refuse to be responsible for it. 10 years from now I don’t want to be blamed for being the reason they’re still single.
- I’m too honest. According to my friends, I’m too harsh. I’m not going to lie, I definitely don’t sugar coat the advice I give — but why would I? I assume the reason they’re coming to me is because I keep it 100% honest. Guess not. I’m done giving advice only to see my friends cry because I’m too honest. Talk about drama — my lips are sealed from here on out.
- I’m not the one in the relationship. I have no idea what’s really going on in the relationship because I’m not in it. I only know what my friends tell me, and you can bet your ass it’s not the complete truth — it’s their perspective of the truth (which makes it, like, 50% true). If I’m only getting bits and pieces of the the story, I don’t know enough to share my two cents.
- The guy’s a jerk. Sorry, but I’m not going to give advice on how to deal with a player. It’s one thing if my friends were asking how to dump him (I would love to help out with that one), but that’s never the case. They always want advice on how to better their relationships. Um, he’s a player — you can’t.
- It takes a toll on my mental health. Constantly discussing someone else’s relationship can be exhausting. Honestly, it’s probably more exhausting than discussing your own. You have to put yourself into someone else’s shoes and then carefully share your opinion without calling them names. Ya know, like “weak,” “dramatic,” or “stupid.” It’s hard work and not to sound rough, but I’m completely over it.
- I don’t know what I’m talking about. In case it’s not obvious, I’m not a practicing psychologist. I didn’t go to school for counseling — I didn’t even take a sociology class! I know nothing about people or what makes a good relationship. Obviously, I’m single. Don’t ask me what do when your boyfriend cheats on you with his ex. I don’t know, bro.
- I don’t want to be affected. It might sound selfish, but I don’t want my friends’ relationships to influence mine, which they inevitably would. Listening to someone talk about their relationship issues will make you see those issues in your own life. I’ve got enough to worry about. I don’t need to be obsessing over the things my friends obsess about.
- I say, “Dump him.” Most of my friends would be better off single — and no, I’m not saying that because I’m bitter and I want my friends to be miserable singletons too — they really would benefit from ridin’ solo for a while. They go from jerk to jerk and then wonder why they aren’t happy. My advice is always the same — dump him! And since my friends don’t ever want to do that, I’m done sharing my thoughts.
- There’s better advice elsewhere. Articles, self-help books, your mom — there are plenty of places someone could go to get relationship advice. Unfortunately, I don’t fall under any of those categories and that’s because I’m not a credible source. I don’t mind listening and being a supportive friend but that’s about as far as I can take it.
