I’m Done With Searching For Signs He’s Into Me—He Should Tell Me Straight Up

I hate trying to discover if a guy’s into me based on his mixed messages, which can be tricky to decipher at times as well as really annoying. If a guy wants to date me, he needs to just be direct about it and make his intentions clear.

  1. I’m not psychic. If he’s intent on being mysterious, I’m not going to waste my time trying to guess what’s on his mind. That was fun in my twenties, but not now. If he wants to have a relationship, he should at least know that he needs to be open about that fact.
  2. I’m done with feeling anxious. Dating can make me feel really anxious. I’m so sick and tired of feeling uneasy with every guy I go on a date with, but it’s not just me who’s to blame for that feeling—the guys don’t make me feel at ease because they’re holding back so much.
  3. I’m not going to pull words out of his mouth. Ever chatted to a guy who seemed interested but then never really spoke much about his life or what he wants? Yeah, it sucks. I’ve been the person who tried to pull conversations out of his mouth, but I’m done. If he’s not going to meet me halfway from the beginning, he can go away and send “k” texts to someone else.
  4. I’m done with analyzing texts. In the past, I could spend hours scrutinizing a guy’s texts for hidden signs that he had feelings for me. All it gave me was an ulcer. It was also such a waste of time. If a guy’s into me, he has to show me. Period. I’m not going to wait around and study his texts. I’ve got other stuff to do!
  5. I want a grown man, not a child. For me, an important quality of being an adult is saying what you want. If a guy’s an adult, then he can tell me what he wants instead of letting me wonder what’s going on. It’s just logical. If he’s keen on having something serious with me, he’ll want to define the relationship. He’ll want to make things official. I won’t have to try to get him to talk about those subjects.
  6. I want him to be brave enough to make his intentions clear. A coward is someone who will stick to hanging out instead of dating and give the people he’s dating mixed messages. I want a guy who can be brave enough to make his intentions clear right from the beginning instead of acting shady by hiding his intentions so that he can get what he wants from me for as long as it suits him. Yeah, it’s scary to pick up the phone and ask someone out, but if he wants it, he has to work for it.
  7. I’m too old to play dating gamesGames were fun in high school but now they just feel stupid. I don’t want to play games when I meet someone new. I don’t want to sit there in uncertainty. It’s ridiculous. We’re two adults who feel for each other, so why act like we’re not? Relationships aren’t supposed to be about getting the upper hand or being in the power seat.
  8. I’ll meet him halfway. I want a guy who speaks up about wanting me. That said, I’m not the type to let him do all the work. I’m ready to meet him halfway and be honest about what I want too. It’s fair and it’s so much better than tiptoeing around the issue.
  9. However, I refuse to do all the work. The problem is that in the past I’ve done all the work and some guys have been lazy. I’d be the one to keep the conversations going via text or the relationship going until they just bailed on me. I’m so done with that. I’m not carrying some guy along. If he can’t put in the effort, he doesn’t deserve mine. He’s the one who’s missed out!
  10. The signs can be very misleading. The problem with trying to search for signs in a guy’s behavior or texts is that they can lead you nowhere. A guy might be giving me hints via text that he likes me when that’s not his intention at all. He might be polite instead of flirtatious, after all. This has happened to me, so I know that reading into signs can be a total waste of time. It’s better for both of us to be upfront about our feelings and relationship goals.
  11. It doesn’t have to happen right away. I’m not suggesting that a guy has to tell me how he feels about me from the first date. That’s a bit much. But after a few dates, when things are clearly progressing, it would be nice to know for sure that he’s into me and he wants something real. Is that so much to ask? I think not.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.