Don’t Be Afraid To Be The One Who Loves More In A Relationship

We live in a world where it’s cool to be ‘chill’ about everything, it’s good not to give a crap and it’s stupid to care. Love can seem like one big game at times. The dating scene is bursting with people who are constantly trying to outsmart each other and not reveal their hand too soon. After all, who would want to seem keen in a world telling us that if we’re open and honest with our feelings, we are destined to get hurt? Screw that. It’s okay to be the girl who loves openly and even who loves MORE — here’s why:

  1. You risk ending up with someone who mistreats you if you shut down. If you’re constantly in fear of being the person in the relationship who loves more, you’re likely to subconsciously be drawn to people who aren’t worthy of your love. You’ll be on a road of self-sabotage, and even if the right man walks into your life, you won’t be in the frame of mind to let him in.
  2. It’s better to know you gave it everything you had. Just like you don’t want to get to the end of your life wishing you had taken more chances, you don’t want to get to the end of a relationship and wish you had tried a little harder or allowed your heart to be more open. No one wants to have those what ifs and maybes lurking around at the back of their mind. Give everything 100% or don’t bother at all.
  3. The love you give does not need to be measured in returns. When you love, you shouldn’t be doing so in the hope of having it returned. Loving should be a selfless act. You do it because you want to. Don’t get caught up in keeping score on how much you’re doing and how much others are giving you right back. Just love. That’s not to say you should exhaust yourself loving someone who gives you no love at all, just that keeping score is rarely a good idea.
  4. It feels good to love. Nothing compares to the feeling of being in love and the act of loving somebody. Loving feels good, so why try to shut those feelings off? Embrace that warm, fuzzy, glow-like emotion. You’ll feel happier, brighter, and full of energy! Love is always a positive emotion, so why hold yourself back from experiencing it?
  5. You’re better off being vulnerable than closing yourself off. Loving someone with everything you have and laying your heart completely on the chopping block is an act of vulnerability. Being vulnerable is the only way you’ll be able to allow someone to love you for the person you truly are. Why would you want someone to love you for any less than that? Don’t be afraid to show the world who you are — the right person will love you for it.
  6. Loving benefits all our other relationships. The act of loving makes you a more giving person. It makes you more caring and more understanding. It opens your heart wider than you knew possible, and that love extends to your parents, your siblings, your friends, and even complete strangers. Loving as much as your heart physically allows is a great thing.
  7. Why settle for someone you loves you more than you love him? When you’re trying so desperately to be the person who cares less, you’ll often end up with someone who worships the bones of you, but who you feel just meh about. You’ll end up settling for someone who isn’t quite right for you, someone who doesn’t give you those butterflies in the pit of your stomach, and someone you won’t ever fully be able to fall for.
  8. Love isn’t weakness, it’s strength. We often make the mistake of thinking that being completely transparent with our feelings and loving someone deeply puts us much more at risk of being hurt. What we don’t realise is that the act of love such a powerful one. It’s the sign of already having mastered the art of self-love. It’s giving fearlessly. It’s not letting someone else dictate your feelings. Choosing to love someone as much as your heart and soul can is a truly powerful action.
  9. Increasing your capacity to love, will grow your capacity to be loved. The people who give the most love away will always be the ones who receive the most love back. You might not believe it, and a string of bad relationships might have convinced you otherwise, but I promise you that when you love without holding back, you will attract the same kind of love in return. It might not be from a man to begin with — it may come from a different source. But eventually, you’ll will find a partner who loves you with everything he has.
  10. Loving more is the bravest thing you can do. Choosing to love someone with everything you have and not knowing whether the person in question will do the same is an act of bravery. It’s trusting in yourself that regardless of the outcome, the strength of your love will always win out – even if you end up with a broken heart. Loving someone fully is completely trusting in a person who was a stranger not long ago. Loving someone is an act of faith. Loving someone more is the bravest thing you can do.
Shani is a full time writer and GLOW-GETTER currently based wherever she can find a bit of peace and harmony.. Her work has found itself a home on many platforms including The Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Unwritten, Style Honey, CT Magazine, and All Women Stalk. She's also the author of several books, which can be purchased on Amazon.

Shani is the founder of the #GLOWGETTERTRIBE - check it out and join on her website.

You can also follow her on Instagram @shanijaywriter.