Don’t Ask Him His “Number” — You Don’t Want To Know

Don’t Ask Him His “Number” — You Don’t Want To Know ©iStock/elenaleonova

Some things are better off left unsaid, and that includes your “number.” Everyone has one, whether it’s zero or 38, and you don’t need to share it unless you want to — and neither does your boyfriend. Besides communicating about being tested for STDs before sleeping together, there’s nothing more to talk about. Here’s why you don’t need to know how many people he’s slept with:

  1. You’ll probably feel jealous of his previous partners. WHO ARE THESE GIRLS? I HATE THEM ALL!
  2. It’s too hard not to be judgmental. Whether your man’s number is one or 50, it’s impossible to not pass a little bit of judgement on him, and that’s not fair. Leave the exact number out and enjoy learning other parts of your significant other’s life besides his sexual history.
  3. You’ll end up doubting everything you know about him. He hugs a girl he sees when you’re out one night, and you immediately start wondering if she is one of the elite.
  4. You’ll wonder if other girls were better. Girls can be very competitive, so after hearing what your boyfriend’s number is, it’s natural to wonder how you stand in comparison. That’s a question you will never know the answer to, and shouldn’t need. Be confident!
  5. You’ll question whether he’s getting bored with you. He’s been with you for over a year — is he bored with being a one woman man? You might start to overthink and become too hard yourself. You’re a sex goddess. If he wanted to be single and play the field, he would. You must be doing something right.
  6. You’ll start creeping. Your boyfriend has six pictures with this girl in 2008, so you click on her profile and start scrolling through pictures from her college days and panic because you think she looks better in maxi dresses than you do. It’ll become a tiresome habit always wondering who those girls are. Save yourself the stress.
  7. It’s an invasion of privacy. A person’s number is one of the most personal pieces of information they have. If your partner isn’t willing to talk about it or is uncomfortable, then that’s his right It’s not your business, just like YOUR number is none of his.
  8. It just breeds resentment. Knowing that your partner has been around the block can make you feel insecure and cause you to think irrationally. It’s not fair to hold this grudge against your boyfriend when this all happened before you two were even together. Being mad over something you can’t control isn’t healthy.
  9. If your number is higher than his, he may not like it. It’s an old stereotype that men get away with way more when it comes to sex. If a man sleeps with 20 girls, he’s the man — but when a girl does it, she’s promiscuous. Let’s  say your boyfriend tells you his number and it’s three, and then he returns the question and yours is 15. This could turn out to be a tricky and unpleasant conversation.
  10. It shouldn’t matter. Unless one of his partners happened while you were already together, the number should be irrelevant. You’re together now, and all those other girls are in the past. Keep them there.
Shelby is a New England girl who loves mimosas, edamame, new bras, and her Yorkie, Jack.