You Don’t Bring Out The Best In Me, So You’re Obviously Not The Best For Me

I love spending time with you, but I know this can’t last forever. While it’s tempting to overlook the fact that you bring out the worst in me and keep this thing between us going, I know our relationship has an expiration date. I want a guy who brings out the best in me, and you don’t, so you’re obviously not the right person for me.

  1. I want a man who inspires me to be the best version of myself. Isn’t that what we’re all trying to be? The best versions of ourselves? When I’m with you, I have too much fun being the worst to ever work on my growth and I don’t like the person I am when I’m with you. That’s really what it boils down to.
  2. Love doesn’t conquer all. It’s sad, but that doesn’t make it untrue. Just because I love you doesn’t mean we’re right for each other. Self-love matters more to me. That might sound harsh, but it’s my truth. I can’t love you if I can’t love myself first, and I just can’t love the person I become when we’re together.
  3. I don’t want to become my flaws. That’s what will happen if we bring out the worst in each other. Day by day, we’ll start to think that our worst qualities are okay. I know that no one is perfect and we all have flaws, but shouldn’t I try to rise above mine? If I’m not fighting to be a better person then what’s the point?
  4. A relationship shouldn’t be a setback. I’m trying my best to be a good person, so why would I want to be with a guy who holds me back from that goal? It hurts me to act this way and to see you do the same. I don’t want to be the person who keeps you from reaching your potential any more than you want to do it to me. We’re holding each other back and it’s time we’re both set free.
  5. I want a bright future. We’re not destined for the best. In fact, we’re destined to bitch, bicker, and tear each other apart. We bring out the very worst in each other and that can only result in the worst possible outcome. I don’t want to find out what that outcome is, so I guess for us there is no future.
  6. I don’t want to resent you. I’ll grow tired of the person I’ve become and eventually I’ll start to feel like I’m this person because of you. It might not be entirely your fault, but that won’t stop me from blaming you a little bit, and I’d rather we not go down that road. I don’t want to grow bitter and resentful, so the best thing we can do is part ways before it’s too late.
  7. I want to be with a man who sees the best of me. I want a man who sees things I don’t even see in myself. I should always be my harshest critic, but the man I love should be the person pushing me to my best. I can’t be with someone who makes me feel content with mediocrity. I don’t want someone who only loves me at my worst or who’s even okay with it.
  8. I’m ready for a mature relationship. I want to feel like two adults building something real, not two high school students just screwing around until we get sick of it and decide to get our acts together. This relationship is the epitome of unhealthy. When we’re apart, we’re adults, but the second we’re together, we act like children. We don’t know how to be mature together, so we’re better off apart.
  9. I don’t want to settle. I don’t want to settle for being a lesser version of myself. I don’t want to settle for a man who can only bring out the very worst in me. I want to be the best. I deserve the best. I’d rather hold out for a man who inspires me to keep growing and working to be the absolute best version of myself. That’s true love, and I won’t settle for anything less.
  10. We’re just not right for each other. This is a black and white issue. There is no gray area. You’re not right for me. In fact, you’re more wrong than anyone else has been — not because I don’t care for you, but because we bring out the absolute worst versions of each other. The relationship isn’t healthy, so I have to do what’s best for me and let go of you in order to make room for something better.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.