I Don’t Care If I Make More Money Than Him, But He Needs To Have A Job

While some women have a list of dream jobs for their future boyfriends, I’m not nearly that invested in the way that a guy spends his days. I just know that if I’m going to date someone, he definitely needs to work for a living — and I definitely don’t care how much money he makes. Here’s why:

  1. I’ve tried and failed to date an unemployed guy. Been there, done that… and it didn’t work out. This guy was 31 years old and had no interest in finding a job. None. I tried to understand his story — how long he had been out of work, what he was looking for — and I got nowhere. The situation was too complicated and I’m not interested in being a part of that again.
  2. Being unemployed is rarely a temporary thing these days. Thanks to the popularity of temp jobs and contracts, more and more people are finding it pretty tough to find a full-time position these days. While I have tons of sympathy for anyone trying to find a good job, I would feel uneasy if someone was unemployed the entire time that we were together. If there was really no chance of him finding something, that wouldn’t work for me.
  3. I’m in love with my job. As a freelance writer, I honestly adore what I do and I also work a lot of hours. When people say that their job is not their entire world, I have to disagree. My ideal partner would feel the same way about their own career (and would definitely have one, too).
  4. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished (both in a personal and financial sense). Yes, it’s true that I’m spending my life doing what I love and that’s an awesome thing. I’m also doing well financially and am happy about that. If I made more money than my partner, that would be totally fine since it’s not a competition. Plus, it’s not like I’ve made some dough doing something that I hate.
  5. I want to talk about our careers. It’s really as simple as that. When I grab dinner or drinks with the guy that I’m dating, I definitely want to be able to chat all things work related. If he’s not working, I won’t feel normal talking about my own stuff. It’s going to be all kinds of awkward.
  6. There’s a huge difference between circumstances and not wanting to work. The sad truth is that a lot of unemployed people want to stay that way. They’re lazy AF and want to live in their parents’ basements for the rest of their lives. Definitely not for me. There’s a difference between a guy being forever unemployed or being without a job because he’s searching for something that will make him happy or has just finished school.
  7. I can only handle an equal partnership. If I’m the only person in my relationship who’s working, I’m going to end up paying for absolutely everything, and that’s just not okay. Since I don’t want to rely on a guy for anything financial and want to take care of myself, I don’t want to be his bank account either.
  8. I want my partner to have his own world. I’ve been an independent single woman for a while now and that won’t change when I do find a relationship. I have my own life going on thanks to my writing career and I definitely want my future BF to have the same thing with his own work world. It’s really the only way for things to feel balanced.
  9. I’m only attracted to someone with a strong work ethic. I will never go out with someone who seems lazy. I’m only into guys who have a work ethic, a sense of purpose, and motivation. It would never make sense to date someone who didn’t have a job since they clearly wouldn’t have any of those positive qualities.
  10. There’s no excuse for not finding some sort of job. In the end, it doesn’t make any sense if a guy can’t find some kind of job. Even if he finds something temporary that’s not his dream deal, that would be okay. If he refuses to work unless he’s in the perfect situation, that’s not going to fly for me. I want to be with someone who is willing to work hard even if it sucks and who understands that people work for a living and that’s just the way that it goes. That’s the only way that I’m going to move forward with someone new.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.