I’m secure in my relationship which is why it doesn’t bother me when other women flirt with my boyfriend. After all, it’s not his fault if someone finds him attractive—it’s what he does about it that matters.
I should be able to trust my boyfriend. If a girl smiles in my boyfriend’s direction, that’s not an excuse for me to go all postal on him. I rely on trust to feel intimate with someone and to have a meaningful relationship. It’s a little more difficult if the courtship is new, but once we’ve been together a while, it should be a given. If I’m with him, I trust him and it should be as simple as that.
I actually find it flattering. It’s kind of nice to know that others find the man I’m with desirable. In fact, it’s probably one of my favorite qualities of his. I’m obviously into him, so is it so crazy to believe that other women would be too? It validates the fact that I have good taste and I picked a winner.
Obviously it’d be a different story if he returned the gesture. There’s a difference between acknowledging when a lady is coming onto him and returning the flirtation. I’m not going to sit back and watch while my boyfriend flirts with another woman right in front of my face. If he’s mature enough to handle it with grace and be polite in response, why should I have a problem with him getting a little confidence boost from someone other than me?
It helps his confidence, which benefits me. Speaking of a confidence boost, I know for a fact that sometimes a compliment from me isn’t enough to get my guy to stop feeling bad about himself. He knows I love him but he’s heard my words over and over. It sometimes takes a complete stranger telling him he looks nice to pull him out of his rut, so why would I ever deny him that? I’ve experienced it myself and it works wonders. If something that innocent can put him in a better mood, I’m happy about that.
He always goes home with me. I’ve dated some guys that are extremely outgoing and friendly to everyone. There have been times this has gotten under my skin, especially if I’m insecure about myself or having a bad day. I’ve had to check myself a few times and remember that is just his way. Sure, some women may mistake that for him being flirtatious, but I’ve come to realize I’d rather have a friendly guy around me than someone that doesn’t play well with others. When I know he’s leaving with me, I’m fine with letting him be himself.
I have no control over who talks to him or what they say. I’ve dated guys who always blamed me for “talking to other guys” even if I didn’t respond when they reached out. I had no say in whether or not someone commented on my Facebook post, so why was I sitting there feeling lousy over something I didn’t even do? I keep that in mind now, especially if an ex-girlfriend or a co-worker that seems a little too close say anything to my boyfriend. If he’s kind in return or doesn’t respond at all, that’s fine.
What I don’t know can’t hurt me… as long as it’s respectful. This is where the trust comes into play. People are human and have natural responses of attraction to people they may not be committed to. I’ve been out with my girlfriends and had guys offer to buy us drinks. It’s completely innocent so I let them and don’t feel bad about it. How can I not expect my guy to act the same way if a group of girls talk their way into guys night? I don’t want to hear all the details, but again, if I trust my guy, this shouldn’t be an issue. As long as it stays respectful, I can handle that.
Flirting can help him not feel confined. When I’ve been in a relationship a long time, I can start to feel suffocated simply because I have a routine and I’ve reached a comfortable level with my partner. If I feel like this, I can imagine that there are times my boyfriend feels the same way. If he starts to feel stifled and needs a bit of an outlet, it may feel good to have another woman coming onto him. As long as that’s as far as it goes, that’s fine by me.
It could end up being what I need to cut him loose. I was once with a guy that I was struggling with. I’d been on the fence for a long time about whether or not we should stay together and my feelings were all over the place. There wasn’t really anything wrong but I definitely wasn’t feeling the spark I knew I deserved from a long-term relationship. Once, when we were out with friends, I noticed he was flirting back with a girl that had started up a conversation with him. He wasn’t doing anything wrong but seeing him engage made it clear to me that he probably wasn’t feeling me either. This confirmed that I probably should stop seeing him and we broke up. It ended amicably but had we not had that moment I may have stayed with him longer than I should have.
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