I’ll Never Be Your Backup — If You Don’t Choose Me, You’ll Lose Me

I used to be the type who would keep my own wants and needs on the backburner to avoid scaring a guy off, but I’ve learned the hard way just how stupid that was. I’ll be damned if I allow myself to be placed in the background while you avoid something real and keep your options available, because screw that. If you don’t choose me, you’ll lose me — I refuse to be a backup.

I’m sick of this nonsense.

There’s literally no rhyme or reason why I should be competing for someone’s long-term affections. If I’m in your life and you’re in mine, so be all the way in or GTFO. Keeping your options open is not only insulting to me, it makes you lose credibility as someone who dates and loves honestly. I deserve to be with a guy who knows what he does and doesn’t want and doesn’t keep me on the hook just to satisfy his ego.

If you have to question it, I’ll answer for you.

If we’ve been dating for a while and I’ve been opening up to you on a deep and meaningful level and you still don’t know if I’m worth committing to, I’ll do you a solid and see myself out. I have better stuff to do than to be on someone’s fence post. The grass is only greener where you water it and if you’re not willing to put in the work, you can go.

I don’t care what happened in your past — I’m here in the present.

Being let down is never easy and if something has happened to you in the past that leaves you jaded to embark on your future, I get that. It’s still not an excuse to leave me hanging and to avoid participating in a real relationship because of what someone else did to you or made you believe about love. If you never fully let me in, you’ll quickly lose your opportunity for me to prove a brighter future. I’m not waiting forever for you to figure your crap out. I’m here now, but soon I won’t be if you can’t make up your mind.

Leading me on is selfish AF.

Stringing me along isn’t fair to either of us. Again, if you have to question it and can’t fully commit to a relationship with me, I’m probably not the one for you in the long run, and that’s okay. I want a guy who doesn’t hesitate to make me fully his and doesn’t need to hold on to his wandering eye to feel a sense of comfort. For me, being with one person is comfortable and I don’t want to be tied to a guy who will never fully give himself to me.

I want to be someone’s first choice.

I deserve to be someone’s first choice and in all honesty, I’d rather be with someone who knows what he has when he has me and won’t pull stupid mind games and keep me hanging by a thread. I’m sick of being a backup when I deserve to be someone’s first and only choice.

Life is too short to live in limbo.

Mostly, I’m just done with the BS and I’m totally done being left in grey areas. I’m done with almost relationships, hiding my feelings and putting my own wants and needs on the sidelines just to avoid coming on too strong. I know what I want and what I’m ready for and I plan on making this life and the love that’s meant for me the best story ever written, whether you choose to be a part of it or not.

I’m not afraid to walk away.

It might blow your mind that I’m so simplistic when it comes to where I choose to stand with you, but if you don’t choose me and make me the priority woman in your life, I have zero issue with walking away. It’s that simple with me. Take me as I am or watch me as I go.

The old me is dead and gone.

I used to be a doormat who needed only simple affections with no real commitment. I used to base my worth on how a guy treated me, but that woman no longer exists. I’ve been here before with someone just like you and I refuse to relive a history I learned never to repeat.

I’ve got stuff to do.

We are going to do this thing, or not do this thing. It doesn’t need to be so complicated. If you don’t choose me, you’ll lose me, but let me know — I’ve got stuff to do.

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