Don’t Cry Over The A-Hole Who Broke Your Heart—He Doesn’t Deserve Your Tears

When the person you love hurts or leaves you, it cuts deep. It takes time to recover from this type of pain, and while you deserve to take some time for yourself to bawl your eyes out and curse the idea of love, here’s why you shouldn’t let yourself cry over this lackluster guy for too long.

  1. He’s not crying over you. As appealing as it is to think of him sobbing over his fifth beer and telling the bartender how badly he messed up, it’s 100% guaranteed not to be happening. If he had any remorse at all, it’s gone by now, and as much as it hurts to acknowledge that, it’s the truth you need to tell yourself. He’s most likely getting an ego boost over the idea of you being distraught over him — don’t make his wish come true.
  2. A guy actually worth crying over would never hurt you like this. There are guys out there who are true gems and would be worth every tear if you lost them, but this dude isn’t one of them. If he hurt you this badly, he isn’t the man you hoped he was and he’s certainly not a man who deserves another moment of your time or sorrow.
  3. Your life is too precious to be interrupted by some jerk. You have things to do and places to be and the world isn’t going to stop turning because your heart’s a bit banged up. You’ll never get this time back, and while some time to mourn the loss of what you thought was a great relationship is warranted, it’s time to pick yourself back up and make the most out of life. I guarantee that whatever is out there waiting for you is way better than whatever this jerk had to offer.
  4. You’re only missing the person you thought he was. Of course you’re upset — you thought this guy was great, and it always hurts to lose someone great. But he revealed his true colors when he broke your heart, and it wasn’t just a fluke. Deep down, he was always a jerk, and the side of him that you fell for was just a mask he wore to reel you in.
  5. Now you’re free to find someone better. It’s hard to find the man of your dreams when you’re trapped in a nightmare in disguise. Rather than being sad because this douche hurt you, start looking forward to meeting the man you’re truly meant to be with. Now that this guy has revealed that he isn’t worth your time, you’re free to develop something real and lasting with a partner who deserves everything you have to offer.
  6. Being single is way better than being with a douchebag. When you’re used to being in a relationship, the prospect of being single again is lousy or even scary. But when you’re solo, you don’t have to worry about your “partner” lying to you or cheating on you or treating you poorly. You know how to spoil yourself, and you sure as hell don’t need some pathetic excuse for a man to do it for you before he hurts you.
  7. This was inevitable. A person who has the capacity to do this kind of damage was going to do it at some point, and it’s better that you got out now than years down the road. Don’t tell yourself that it was a one-off mistake or that there was anything you could’ve done — this wasn’t your fault, and it was going to happen at some point.
  8. Yes, you will get over him. Right now it might seem like you’ll never stop hurting, but you will. Even if it seems like you’ll never be able to trust anyone or fall in love again, trust me, you will. Heartache — even the worst kind — is only temporary, and although right now you may have forgotten what it’s like to not be distraught, you will move on and find happiness again. Don’t convince yourself that this pain will last forever.
  9. He’s not half as great as your heart thinks he is. It’s amazing how we can convince ourselves to see the best in even the worst of people. Take a step back and look at him through the lens of an outsider. What would you tell your friend if she were dating someone like him, who treated her the way he’s treated you? Your heart might be convinced that he was The One, but come on — you know deep down that you could find a million other guys who had all of his good qualities without the toxic ones.
  10. One day you’ll look back on this and smile. Yes, really. Someday, you’re going to be having the time of your life, whether on your own or with your true soulmate and be grateful that this experience made you stronger and helped you appreciate true love even more. Getting your heart broken is never fun, but it teaches you a lot about relationships and your own capacity to overcome hardship. Look towards your future happiness rather than your current sorrow and remember that you’ll be just fine.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.