Don't Date Me Unless You're Ready For Something Real

I’m not looking for a casual “relationship” where we text all the time, but never actually meet up. I’m not looking for a one-night stand or a friend with benefits, either. I want something real, so don’t waste my time unless you’re ready for a serious relationship.

I’m finished hiding my feelings.

If you’re scared to hear a woman ask you out on a real date or say “I love you,” then don’t bother to text me. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t give a stuff about you in order to hold some sort of power over you. I’m not playing those games.

I’m sick of feeling desperate.

I’m not desperate, just because I text you every single day. I’m not desperate, just because I ask you if you want to go out on a legitimate date that doesn’t involve Netflix. I want someone who appreciates the fact that I’m putting effort into our relationship and is willing to do the same.

I’d rather be single than in a meaningless relationship.

I don’t want a boyfriend just for the sake of having a boyfriend. I want someone I can spend the rest of my life with. If you’re not ready for a step that big, then take a step back.

Players don’t interest me anymore.

I’ve done the casual thing before and I’m over it. I’m not looking for hot, no strings attached sex. I’m looking for someone who won’t mind skipping sex on certain nights and cuddling instead.

I’ve been let down too many times.

I don’t want to memorize your birthday and the name of all your siblings if you’re not going to stay in my life. It’s tiring. If you know from the start that you’re not ready for something real, save me some trouble and find another girl.

I’m not a way for you to get free sex.

Don’t expect to get laid every night without giving me anything in return. If all you want is sex, you can go down to the bar and find a fling. I’m not a sex object, ready to get on all fours whenever you ask.

I’m not going to lie to you.

I’m going to be honest with you about what I want, so I expect you to do the same. If I tell you that I want a serious relationship, don’t pretend that it’s what you want too, just so I stick around for a little longer. Do me the curtesy of being honest about your intentions.

Casual relationships are a waste of my time.

Every second the wrong guy spends with me is a second taken away from the right guy. I’m getting older now, and I want to make the most of my future. That means all of you losers can step aside.

I’m ready for something real.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m ready for a committed relationship. I don’t need players to distract me from what I really want. It’s all or nothing now.

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Holly Riordan Holly is a science fiction and horror writer, who has recently been published by Flash Fiction Press, Infective Ink, and Popcorn Press. You can find more of her nonfiction articles on All Women Stalk, The Talko, and News Cult.