Don’t Depend On Him — Here’s Why You Should Always Have Your Own Money

Don’t Depend On Him — Here’s Why You Should Always Have Your Own Money ©iStock/filadendron

One of the best parts about being in a relationship is being able to depend on each other. After all, when you’re with the right person, life is easier when you go at it together. And while marriage or moving in together naturally leads to sharing financial responsibilities (which admittedly makes bill-paying easier), it’s still wonderfully empowering to have a nest egg of your own. Whether you’ve just started dating or you and your boyfriend are in it for the long haul, here are 7 important reasons to always have money of your own:

  1. Having to ask for money is kind of demeaning. Asking your boyfriend to lend you some cash kind of feels like begging Daddy for shopping money. You’re a grown woman — you shouldn’t have to ask for your allowance.
  2. Knowing that you can take care of yourself gives you peace of mind. I am an optimistic and true believer in love. However, I’m also a realist; things happen that are unpredictable. If you and your beau share finances, it’s nice to know that if you broke up or he lost his job, you’d be able to handle the bills on your own (even if it’s just until you figure out a new living situation). Money may be a common reason for long-term splits, but it should never be the reason for staying together.
  3. It’s awesome to be able to get him nice gifts. When you love someone, you want to spoil them. When birthdays and holidays roll around, being able to give your guy that new Playstation or Apple watch that he’s been daydreaming about is absolutely elating and actually empowering.
  4. You realize that you don’t need a man to buy you the things you want. Sick of dropping hints about the exact necklace you’ve been drooling over at Tiffany’s? Too impatient to wait another four months for your birthday? When you have your own spending money, you can buy those diamond studs for yourself — after all, you’ve been working hard. You deserve it.
  5. When you give yourself presents, there are NO STRINGS ATTACHED. When dating, sometimes gifts seem to come with an unspoken obligation. Maybe you’re uncomfortable accepting something too expensive when you’re not ready to commit. Maybe his grand gesture makes you too guilty to call it quits just yet (although you’re more than ready to). Or maybe you’re hesitant to dump him because you’ve made so many joint purchases together (and how would you divide all that stuff?). Too much drama! Remember that luxurious gifts to yourself never come with an emotional price tag.
  6. Having your own money means spending it however you please. If you can afford it, so what if you drop $100 on a fancy dinner with your BFF or you impulse-bought a gorgeous designer purse once it finally went on sale (but was still expensive)? When you’re using your own debit card, you don’t have to justify your expenditure to anyone but yourself.
  7. Being able to make your own decisions about money builds your confidence. When you earn your own money, you learn how to trust yourself to be fiscally responsible. Bills should be paid before new shoes, but you also know when you can treat yourself — and where to draw the line. Mastering your monetary priorities is all part of being an independent woman!
  8. Your financial independence is a symbol of your success. With or without a boyfriend, having the ability to support yourself is liberating and empowering. Life is expensive, and if you’ve worked hard enough to be financially independent (or at least have a little extra saved that’s just for you) consider yourself successful.
No longer "perpetually single." | Writer | New Englander | Dog Fanatic