Don’t Discount The Importance Of Frenemies In Your Life

Frenemies get a bad rap these days.  These mean girls are often rude, malicious, and catty on the sly while smiling sweetly to your face, but the friend-frienemy relationship is still a symbiotic one. Some people are completely unaware of why they tend to keep these kinds of fake friends around, while others have a deep understanding of the unspoken social contract between friend and frenemy. While she feeds off of backhanded compliments and talking about your insecurities in public, you do actually get something in return. Here are 7 times when you need a frenemy in your life:

  1. When you need that competitive edge. Frenemies can be one of the best motivators in life. Whether they’re making infuriating offhanded comments about how you’ll probably fail or actually doing really well themselves, you can depend on your frenemy to light a fire under your ass during those long extra hours at the office or early morning cardio sessions.
  2. When you don’t want to be the mean one. An enemy of a frenemy is your…? No one’s sure, but you are sure that you’re way too old for unnecessarily complex social dynamics. Therefore, you can rely on your frenemy to hate all the same people you do… and to pinpoint their deepest insecurities, exploit them relentlessly, and make them cry.
  3. When you need some attention. Frenemies are notorious for giving their friends a lot of attention as a means of getting attention in return. Anxious your IG photo hasn’t hit that 11 like mark yet? Count on your frenemy to swoop in and save the day. Just don’t forget to return the favor.
  4. When you need someone to complain to. Frenemies love to hear every little detail about why your life isn’t perfect. When you don’t want to bother your real friends with ANOTHER sob story about how you ate an entire box of Oreos or cut yourself while trying to shave your legs, your frenemy will gladly talk about your stupidity. For hours. And ask for pics. And try to talk you into posting them on the Internet.
  5. When you want someone to talk crap about. The frenemy is often the go-to person for a group of friends to complain about, because there’s a 99% chance they JUST did something really rude or annoying the last time everyone got together. If you often find yourself saying, “UGH, I can’t believe she said that – that was rude/annoying,” you probably have a frenemy in your clique.
  6. When you just need someone to turn up. In a normal, healthy friendship, you respect each other’s time enough to understand that you won’t be attending all of each other’s various events. When you’ve been tricked into charity yodeling or running BINGO at Grandma’s nursing home, you can always count on your frenemy to show up, fully contoured and dressed to the nines.
  7. When you need support in a tough time. A frienemy loves to see you down. While they’re reveling in your misfortunes, all good frenemies know the key to maintaining access the dirty details of your rough patch is to feign support. Sometimes, fake support feels just as good as real support. Unless you’re talking about bras, then definitely opt for the real support.
Holly Harris is a freelance writer, full time student, and mommy to a toddler sass monster. In her (nearly nonexistent) free time, you can find her lifting something heavy in her home gym or chugging vodka sodas with friends. She contributes to several other sites, including Elite Daily.
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