10 Signs Your Happily Ever After Is Going To Turn Into A Nightmare

If you’ve been with your guy for a while, the topic of marriage may have come up and a proposal might even be just around the corner. But before you say yes, you’ll want to sit down and think about if you’re actually ready to spend the rest of your life with him. Here are a few red flags that might make you realize that you’d be better off single instead of picking out your wedding gown:

  1. He doesn’t do any chores. Anyone who thinks that cleaning is “women’s work” is someone you don’t want to settle down with. If you already live together, chores should be split up as equally as possible. If he has more time during the day, he should offer to take on more. If you’re working from home and can afford to run a load of dishes or laundry above what you’d normally do, you should. It shouldn’t be a man versus woman issue as much as a “how can we balance this together as a team” issue.
  2. He constantly interrupts you. Does he think his opinion is more important than yours? When someone constantly interrupts you, that’s pretty much what they’re saying. Sure, every once in a while, we’re all guilty of pulling this maneuver — but if it’s consistent and you never feel like you can get a sentence out, that’s a major red flag. Don’t expect anything to get better.
  3. He changes the subject whenever you bring up serious issues. That, or you’re afraid to bring serious issues up with him. Even if you approach it kindly and with kid gloves, his reaction is out of control. The truth of the matter? Marriage is constant hard work, and tough things are bound to come up. If you can’t communicate openly while you’re dating, you definitely won’t magically get better at it after a wedding.
  4. He gets moody when you talk to your family. Is he jealous over a bit of sisterly bonding time? Does he get a little huffy over the amount of time you talk to your mom on the phone. Either he automatically assumes that you’re talking negatively about him, or he’s jealous that he can’t have 100 percent of your time. Neither one of these is normal. Unless you end each family chat in tears (or if your family makes you feel awful about yourself), he doesn’t really have your best interests at heart. If anything, he’ll probably try to separate you entirely once the marriage license is signed.
  5. He always leaves when things get tough. Is he the kind to walk out the door when you have a fight? He’s running away from confrontation. The best couples work on their issues together, not apart. If he loves to flee, just imagine how much more difficult the scenario will be if the two of you decide to have kids.
  6. He’s still on dating sites. Yes, this does happen. Once you and your guy decided to be committed to each other, he should have wiped his membership. There’s no reason his profile should still be active, even though he might truly think of some incredible excuses. No, he didn’t “keep up his profile to show his single friend how the site works.” Nor did he “keep his profile to try and make guy friends.” When you get married, it’ll just be even tougher and more expensive to dump him when you find out he’s cheating on you.
  7. He shuts down your dreams. You’re saving up money to go back to school since you’ve decided that you really want to be a social worker, but in his eyes, you shouldn’t even bother — social workers don’t make much money. While you never know how the future will pan out, someone who shuts you down so easily isn’t someone you want to be tied with forever. He has a right to not think it’s a great idea, but to openly tell you not to do it? No way.
  8. He negatively comments on your body. Every human body is different, but if he really makes you notice when you’ve gained the typical five pounds of holiday weight, he’s not going to be too kind if you choose to have kids. Women’s bodies often stretch and do pretty incredible things to support a life — and while many women bounce back, some don’t. A partner who makes you feel bad isn’t one that’ll be too supportive in the long run.
  9. He tells a ton of little white lies. A lie is a lie. Sometimes we do it to spare feelings. Chances are, you’ve told one or two in the past — you’re only human.  If you constantly do it? Well, then nobody will know when you’re actually telling the truth. If your guy lies about where he’s been, or who he’s texting, or how he actually feels about a situation, there’s an underlying reason as to why it’s all happening — and no matter what it is, it’s not healthy. You’ll want to improve on it before ever dreaming of moving forward.
  10. He’s refusing to move in with you. It’s totally okay to live apart from your boyfriend for awhile, but these days, it’s smart to cohabitate a bit before jumping into a marriage. In fact, it’s a great way to guarantee that you’re definitely compatible. If your guy refuses to share a space with you or is simply too scared to sign that lease, he’s simply not ready for any kind of greater commitment.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has written for sites like LittleThings, Bustle, and Scary Mommy. When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz