Don’t Get Caught In The Single Trap — 9 Ways To Convince Yourself That Finding Love Is Worth The Effort

Don’t Get Caught In The Single Trap — 9 Ways To Convince Yourself That Finding Love Is Worth The Effort

When you’re single as can be, it’s tempting to want to just stay that way. Would it really be so bad? You have a great life, and it’s not like you need a guy to be happy. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being on your own, there is definitely something wrong with avoiding the search for love if that’s still something that you secretly want.

  1. Think about your future self. Picture yourself six months to a year from now. Will your future self be thrilled that you gave up on finding a relationship, or will she totally hate that you were so cynical and lazy? Probably the latter. When dating feels like too much of a hassle, remember how happy you will be once you find the person that you’re looking for. That should be motivation enough to set up a few dates.
  2. Ask yourself why you would give up. You won’t be able to tell yourself that you have zero interest in finding a partner to share your life with. Or that you don’t want to cuddle up to someone late at night while watching Netflix. Or that you don’t want all of the things that come along with a serious relationship (love, security, and someone to laugh with while running the dullest of errands). Nice try. If you want to give up on dating because it can be boring and annoying, sorry but you need a better excuse than that.
  3. Think of what you would miss out on. It’s one thing to look at your life now and think that you would be perfectly content with things staying status quo. It’s another to realize that you would miss out on more than you could imagine if you stayed single forever. From couple vacations to having someone by your side no matter what, there are some things that can’t be replicated when you’re riding solo.
  4. Ask your BFFs what you should do. Sometimes you need to take a step back and ask for some good old-fashioned advice to realize what the right thing is. If you grab your girlfriends and ask them over a few cocktails what you should do about your love life, they’re 100 percent going to say that you should never give up. You should definitely listen.
  5. Make dating easier on yourself. If the way that you’ve been approaching dating hasn’t been working, then maybe it’s time to make a change. That doesn’t mean giving up the search entirely. If you’re burnt out on dating apps, then just try one and use it once a week. If you want to be set up, then ask around (and don’t assume the date is going to suck). You’re in control of your destiny and your life, and that means you can be in charge here, too.
  6. Think about what you would bring to a relationship. You’re not a total loser who would make the worst girlfriend ever. It’s probably the exact opposite. Maybe you have an epic sense of humor and would make your guy laugh 24/7, or maybe you would inspire him to follow his dreams. Once you realize that you have a lot of positive things to offer someone, you’ll have an easier time continuing your search for love.
  7. Remember what being in love is like. It’s okay if you’re not a hopeless romantic who enjoys watching The Notebook while sobbing into a pint of ice cream. You might find it way too painful to think about your past relationships because they ended so badly, but that just might be exactly what you need right now. Remember how great it was to be in love and you’ll be more motivated to find that for yourself today (without the heartbreak, of course).
  8. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. When you get sick of your single life and feel like you should already be in a relationship, that means that you pity yourself… and there’s nothing more damaging than that. You have absolutely no reason to act like you have the worst luck ever. Lamenting the fact that you’re single is just going to keep you stuck in the past and prevent you from moving on towards a better, more romantic future.
  9. Get into the right mindset. The way you approach dating can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you go into a first date thinking it’s going to be horrible, it will be. It’s all about attitude and perspective. Remember who you are and why you totally deserve love, and walk into that date like you’re one step closer to finding what you’re looking for. Who knows? You just might meet the love of your life.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. She shares gluten-free, dairy-free recipes and personal stories on her food blog, ahealthystory.com. She loves coffee, barre classes and pop culture.