Don’t Get Mad When He Treats You Like Crap If You Refuse To Stick Up For Yourself

Between the texts with no replies, the insane amount of guys who can’t seem to be faithful, and the endless stream of generally inconsiderate bad boy behavior, the dating game is no cup of tea. But wanting to find love doesn’t mean you need to just accept that or make excuses for it. In fact, the exact opposite — if you’re tired of guys who feed you a constant load of bullsh*t, you have to call them on it.

  1. Stand up or you’ll just get walked all over. You know how you were told that if you don’t want to get picked on, you have to stand up to the bully? Well, those playground rules still apply. If you don’t want a guy to keep tearing you down like you’re nothing, then you have to stand up for yourself and demand better (or leave him altogether). If you keep taking his bad behavior lying down, he’ll just keep treating you poorly.
  2. Manipulators prey on the weak. They look for women who don’t have the confidence to stand up for themselves. They know you won’t fight for yourself and that’s why they go after girls like you. You’re an easy target, and that’s why you need to challenge him. You can’t be manipulated if you don’t let yourself be. It’s time to find your inner strength.
  3. If you don’t believe you deserve real love, he won’t believe it either. Why should he? He’s not going to think you’re a catch if you think you’re the scraping off the bottom of the barrel. If you want to win the game of love, you have to think like a winner. You deserve to be treated right, but until you realize that, you’ll never get the love you deserve.
  4. The more lenient you are, the more he’ll try to take advantage of you. Every time you give, he’s going to take a little more. You want to be the “cool” girlfriend, but letting him walk all over you isn’t okay. You’re not being a good girlfriend. You’re just being awful to yourself. The more crap you take, the unhappier you’ll be.
  5. Relationships need boundaries. It doesn’t need to be a situation where you give him a bunch of rules like you’re the warden of the prison that is your relationship. You might want love, but you should never be so desperate that a man could put you through any kind of hell and you’d still stand by his side. Every woman should have her limitations, and any good man will respect them (and not want to test them in the first place).
  6. When it comes to the game of love, you have to lookout for yourself. It’s your job to protect your own heart. It’s your job to demand the respect in order to keep your dignity. No one else is looking out for you here. No one else can tell a man what you deserve. You can’t hide behind friends or anyone else. If you want a good man who treats you right, it’s your job to find one.
  7. If you give into his games, he’ll just keep playing them. If you refuse to play, then all his mind games will disappear. It’s no fun playing by yourself. He wants an opponent, someone to beat. All you have to do is cut the crap. Don’t let his smile distract you from the lies coming out of his mouth. If you smell bullsh*t, then call him out on it. It really is that simple.
  8. Strength and confidence are the only way to defeat a professional bullsh*tter. If you don’t want to be dragged through his crap, then pick yourself up, brush the dirt off, and have the strength to call him on his bad behavior. Don’t just lie down and take it. Have the confidence to know that you deserve better and never be afraid to walk away.
  9. If you want to be treated right, you have to fight for it. A guy who feeds on getting one over on you will always take the easy way out if he knows you’ll let him. He won’t try if he doesn’t have to — he’s not going to put in more work than necessary. Don’t let yourself be an easy target just because you’re desperate for love. Be hard to get, and hold out for the man you deserve.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.