I Don’t Get “Overly Attached” — I Just Give My All To Whoever I’m Dating

For the longest time, people have told me that I get attached too easily to the guys that I date. It’s not that I’m needy, it’s just that I tend to focus on one guy at a time and I put my heart into things — and I couldn’t imagine behaving any other way. So what if I get attached too easily? I don’t think it’s a bad thing and I’m sick of being shamed for it.

I’m a lover, not a game player. I’m a naturally loving and giving person by nature, so when it comes to someone I could potentially end up with forever, you’re damn right I’m going to truly devote myself to getting to know them and having them in my life in a real and pure way. Why is it that so many people think putting my heart out there is a bad thing? The best things in life are rewarded by taking a risk. It’s that simple.

I’m not looking for a mediocre love story. Sure, some couples have those “how we met” stories with the calculated games they played to win their love over, and that’s great if that’s what worked for them, but it’s not who I am. I want the beginning of my relationship with the love of my life to be something I can look back and smile about. I don’t want to have to relive the anxiety I felt when I was carefully maneuvering myself to get him to like me.

I’m looking for a life partner, not a casual encounter. I’m not a half-assed person and when it comes to searching for my forever partner, I’m going to give it my all from the very beginning, always. If I’m not willing to jump in with both feet, I’ll never know if I’m going to get caught. Playing it safe doesn’t interest me. I’m looking for a forever guy, not another casual almost relationship.

Real love should be all in or all out — there’s no in-between for me. I never have lukewarm feelings when it comes to love. I’ll either be into a guy completely or not into him at all. When I start dating a guy, he gets my attention and I put effort into things because I want it to work out — is that so crazy? The only thing that seems crazy to me is that so many people think putting their heart and emotions on lockdown is going to win them any kind of prize.

I weed out the players early on. The way I see it is, if a guy doesn’t like my bold approach to love, he won’t like my big-hearted nature overall and he’ll weed himself out of my life sooner rather than later — it’s not a bad thing. I’d rather be myself and enjoy my search for love with the right guys than waste a ton of time with the wrong ones.

I’m not ashamed to wear my heart on my sleeve. It’s true that I fall hard, love hard and tend to let the wings of my soul take off like a rocket, but it’s just who I am and I’m not going to alter myself or pretend to be someone I’m not just to avoid BS judgments or assumptions that I’m desperate. There’s a clear difference between being needy for love and passionate about love. I’m simply a passionate person who wears my heart on my sleeve proudly.

I’m not afraid to put myself out there and risk heartache for love. Putting myself out there and going for what I want with vigor is something I’m actually pretty damn proud of because so many people live their lives in the safety lane. I’m not a stop and pull over type. I’m a pedal to the floor type of woman and I truly believe the right guy for me won’t be put off by my nature.

I’ve never been one to play by the rules. I know I could play by the cardinal rules of dating. I could act mysterious, play hard to get, act aloof and time my responses with a guy I’m dating to lure him into my web, but it’s more effort than it’s worth. I don’t want to exhaust myself emotionally by buying into this unwritten set of rules of “how to catch a guy.” Forgive me if I’m just blatantly sick of being told how to behave with guys when being myself is a lot less stressful.

It’s not attachment, it’s simply respect. It’s not like I’m blowing up a guy’s phone or stalking him as soon as he enters my life. In fact, how I behave with guys I’m dating seems perfectly normal to me. I make time for him. I answer his calls and texts in a timely manner. I don’t block out my emotions. If I feel something for him, I don’t sweep it under a rug. I pay attention. I follow my heart. I believe that if I want a love that’s truly real and respectful, I need to be respectful about how I treat the process too. Holding out on my feelings or distancing myself from my real life emotions isn’t respectful or helpful to myself or to anyone looking for real love.

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