I think I can speak for most girls when I say guys can be seriously annoying. I’m not talking about the cute guy that forgot to text back, I’m talking about the ones who think that me simply being in a bar makes me single, available and attracted to him. On behalf of all women, I just want to say BACK OFF.
It’s been a long week. Work has kept me from seeing my friends since last week. I’m so looking forward to grabbing a few drinks, dancing to our own beat and catching up on good old fashioned conversation. Sure, some girls go to the bar to pick up a guy, but I don’t think me minding my own business looks like I’m trying to initiate something with the guy in the corner over there.
I just want to buy my own drink. I always cringe when a guy slides up next to me while I’m ordering a drink, paying the tab. It’s rude to walk away and I’m a total softie so I’d feel bad, but I end up having a guilt-conversation with some guy I’m not remotely interested in who literally just bought my time. Even more awkward once I say “good talk!” and run back to my group of girls to enjoy what’s left of my warm whiskey and Coke.
I’m not flirting with anyone. What ever happened to reading body language? Me walking to the bar or dancing with my friends is not initiating some sort of flirting game. I’m not looking at anyone or attracting attention to myself, and even if I was, it’s not hard to tell that I’m not going to engage the game after I avoid eye contact with the guy. I mean, come on—flirting is hard on guys, but they make it harder on themselves half the time.
I don’t want to entertain a conversation. I’m seriously not in the mood to have a superficial conversation in a crowded room where we’re yelling at each other the whole time. If he has to pull me away from my friends to initiate this conversation, there’s a good chance I’m not interested in entertaining it at all. I’m totally allowed to ignore everyone except the girls I came with and have a good time on my terms.
I want to let loose with my girls. If I want to turn my three whiskeys into four and a tequila shot, so be it. If I want to channel my inner Beyoncé on the dance floor, that’s my thing. I shouldn’t have to hang out in the corner to stay away from being noticed. I’m not asking to be approached because I didn’t feel like being a wallflower. I just want to get a little loud and laugh with my friends. Contrary to popular belief, I can have a really great time without having attention from guys at the same time. I know, shocker!
I enjoy dressing up for me, not other people. If I had a dollar for every time some dude asked me, “If you didn’t want me to hit on you, why’d you get all dolled up?” I’d be rich. UGH. Can we just skip this topic altogether? I enjoy having my money right where I can see it—hanging in my closet. I love to dress up, wear my nice clothes, and feel really great about my appearance when I get a chance to. Hair and makeup are like therapy to me, it’s relaxing—wait, why do I have to even explain myself here? Right, I don’t. Next.
This is time I set aside for my friends. There’s a time for mingling, and when we’re all having a drink together, unaware of the crowd, it’s the wrong time. I want to spend time with my besties, have some drinks and paint the town without interruption. I’m not going to be rude to a guy if he approaches one of us but I’d like to just put out a memo that it’s not always appreciated or flattering—sometimes it’s just annoying.
If I don’t look interested, why try? Okay, I’m not making eye contact. I’m not starting a conversation. I’m not trying to stand close to him or make him notice me. Why get in my space and make things awkward for everyone? My personal least favorite is when I’m dancing with my friends and some guy cuts right in the middle—no. Especially once I’ve moved away multiple times, that means I’m not feeling it.
When I walk away, that means leave me alone. Like I said, whether it’s on a dance floor, on the street, or otherwise, if I’m removing myself from the situation, I’m obviously not trying to get to know this guy. It’s just girl code to keep one person between your best friend and that guy who won’t give up—I’m surprised they haven’t caught on yet, honestly. Side note: I’m not cold or heartless because I ignore some dude I don’t want to talk to—I literally just don’t want to talk. Not sorry.
I’m literally wearing a wedding ring. Okay, this one takes the cake for me. I’m literally wearing a wedding ring. From my husband. I’m old enough that guys should be actively looking for these details but I’ve found they’re either completely oblivious or really just don’t care. I know girls that put rings on just to keep guys from talking to them but even a real one hasn’t helped me ward off guys who won’t leave me alone—I hope you girls buying the Walmart rings for protection have better luck than me. May the odds be ever in your favor to have a good time with your girlfriends with no creeps finding you at the bar.
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