I Don’t Have Female Friends Because I Don’t Want Them—Why Is That A Problem?

I’ve never been a “girl’s girl,” so to speak. It’s not that I hate women or even that I don’t like being around them, I’ve just naturally developed stronger friendships with guys over the years. Why is that such a problem for everyone?

Yes, I’m a feminist.

I’ve literally had people (always other women) accuse me of being “anti-women” or a bad feminist simply because my friend group is comprised pretty much solely of guys. How does that even make sense? If you don’t eat chocolate ice cream, are you automatically anti-ice cream? I not only believe in the rights and equality of women but also in empowering my fellow ladies to do whatever their heart desires—including not having female friends, if that’s what they want!

I don’t see other women as competition and I’m not jealous of them.

This is another thing I hear often. The idea that I avoid friendships with women because I think they’re my competition for a guy’s attention or because I don’t think I can compare to them is stupid. Not only do I not really care about what men like or don’t like, but I’m also smart enough to realize that competing for guys is pointless and something I’m not willing to engage in.

I’m a tomboy, so my interests automatically tend to align more with guys’.

I’m big into fitness and the outdoors, and while I know there are many other women who are into the same things, the truth is that most of the people I meet while paddleboarding at the beach, while running half-marathons, and while hiking tend to be guys. I also love playing video games and coding, both of which tend to be more male-heavy hobbies. Again, I know there are women doing these things and that’s great, I’m just saying that I tend to meet and connect with more guys doing them.

Girls can be really catty and dramatic and I’m neither.

The fact that I have to justify not being close to women is a perfect example of this. I’ve literally never had a guy criticize me for hanging out with guys. It’s only ever been women, many of whom have complained to other women behind my back (or even in front of my face) about what a terrible person I must be for not being giggly BFFs with them. Why would I want to when they act like that?

Guys let me be who I am.

I never have to explain who I am or why I’m doing something with my guy friends. They’re totally cool with letting me do my own thing with no issues. They don’t guilt trip me when I can’t hang out, pressure me to do things I don’t want to do or any of that. They’re very “anything goes” and to be honest, it’s pretty refreshing.

My guy friends give more balanced, practical advice.

Women tend to lead with emotion—I know because I am one and I do this—which is why it’s so great to have guy friends to go to when I’m dealing with something. They always ask what the problem is and offer real, practical solutions to fix it instead of letting me wallow or making the issue overly complicated. I’m really grateful for their simplicity in this regard and I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything by not having another female perspective, so to speak.

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