No, You Don’t Have To Play Games To Find Love

No, You Don’t Have To Play Games To Find Love ©iStock/piskunov

Dating seems like a game but I have no desire to play. Conventional wisdom says that you can’t find love without playing games but I’m giving it a shot:

  1. I’m not into mind games. I won’t play yours and I won’t instigate my own. I’m not going to try to make you jealous or test how much you really like me. Don’t I deserve that same respect from you? Love might be a game, but it doesn’t have to be so devious. At the end of the day, I don’t want to have to manipulate someone into loving me.
  2. I’m not playing hard to get. I am hard to get — not because I think I’m too good for every guy but because I’m looking for the right guy. If I don’t feel a spark then I won’t waste my time. Mr. Wrong might be fun for a while, but  I’ll spend my time holding out for Mr. Right.
  3. I’m not keeping it casual. That just sounds like wasting time with someone you’re not that into. I want something serious. We don’t have to be exclusive from day one, but you have to at least want to have a girlfriend. If you’re only interested in having fun, then I’ll pass.
  4. I’m serious, even when it comes to sex. The world went the way of casual sex, but that doesn’t mean I have to. Sex is serious to me and I won’t let just any guy in my bed. If I don’t feel something for you then I’m not going to sleep with you. It’s not a game; it’s just my standard.
  5. I have a built-in BS detector. I’m not going to put up with your crap, so if you want to keep me, don’t test me. Your ex-girlfriends may have played your little games, but I won’t. Relationships are built on trust. Every truth earns a point and every lie sets you back two spaces. It’s a game of truth or lie and every lie puts you one step closer to the door.
  6. I’m pretty damn competitive… but other women aren’t my opponents. My target is you. The real competition is if you can overcome your “male nature” and commit to me. I don’t want to hear about how men are supposed to “spread their seed” or whatever BS you’re trying to play. I’m looking for a faithful guy with eyes for only me.
  7. I know what I deserve. I’m not the girl who gets treated like crap and keeps coming back for more. If you can’t appreciate me then I’ll just leave. It’s as simple as that. I’ve been in unhealthy relationships before but I’ve learned my lesson. I deserve real love — that’s all I’m asking for.
  8. I know what I want. Once you realize what you deserve, figuring out what you want is the next battle. I know I deserve love, but I also know that I want commitment. I want a guy who isn’t afraid to settle down or love me no matter who’s watching. I want a guy who doesn’t care for drama and doesn’t make me play games. I’m fighting for love but I won’t jump through hoops to get it.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.