I Don’t Just Want A Boyfriend, I Want A Partner Who’s Ready To Go All-In

I’ve had my fair share of boyfriends, but none of them stuck. I don’t want another guy I’m going to date for a few months or even a year and then never speak to again. I’m done with boyfriends — what I want is a partner who’s more than ready to go all-in.

  1. I don’t want to keep things casual. I’m not a casual kind of girl. I’m a relationship girl and I’m sick of trying to pretend like I’m anything else. I want love, I want marriage, I want the whole nine yards. I’m done with just hanging out. I’m done with casual dating. If a guy’s not taking me seriously, then I’m serious when I say goodbye.
  2. I’m not just trying to pass the time. I don’t want someone just to hang out with — I’m not lonely. I have friends and I can get an orgasm all on my own. I don’t need help occupying my time, so if a guy’s just bored, he can move along. I’m not a girl who’s going to help him fill a void in his life. Boyfriends just pass time; true partners know how to dedicate their whole hearts and not just pieces.
  3. I’m not interested in something temporary. I want a love that’s going to last forever, so if a guy doesn’t believe in marriage, he’s not the guy for me. I don’t want to simply see how things go. I don’t want to waste my time on a guy who doesn’t see a future with me. I don’t want to just live in the moment. If a guy knows I’m not the girl he wants forever, he doesn’t get to have me just for right now.
  4. I don’t want a guy who has one foot out the door. I want a relationship where I can feel safe and secure. I already have anxiety — I don’t want to be constantly worried that the man I’m with is going to leave me too. I need a guy who’s going to anchor me, someone who’s going to make me feel like he’s going to be there no matter what. If he can’t give me that peace of mind then I can’t give my heart to a flight risk.
  5. I won’t be anyone’s rebound. If a guy’s still getting over his ex, I’m not the girl for him. I know that people can fall in love with rebounds, but I don’t want that to be the start of my love story. I’m not desperate for a boyfriend. I won’t just take any guy who will have me. If he’s still hung up on someone else then he can’t fully commit to being with me and that’s just not good enough.
  6. I want a man who’s willing to make an effort. If a guy’s not willing to work for a relationship, he has no chance with me. In my opinion, if a guy really cares then he won’t be afraid to show it. I won’t bear the weight of our entire relationship on my shoulders. I need a partner to help carry the load. If he’s not able to make an equal effort, he’s not ready for a girl like me.
  7. I won’t put up with a guy who’s too busy to see me. If a guy can’t make time for me then he has no business being with me. He’s clearly too busy for a relationship and I’m too busy to wait around. In my mind, if a guy likes me enough then no matter what, he’ll make the time to see me. I’m busy AF too, but for the people I actually care about, I have all the time in the world.
  8. I’m looking for a man who will actually text me the hell back. For the love of all things holy, I’m so done with guys who can’t text back. I don’t want to be the girl some guy texts when he feels like it. I want to be with a guy who’s actually excited when he sees my name light up his phone. I don’t want to wait around deciphering a guy’s messages and trying to figure out whether or not he’s into me. If he really likes me and wants to be with me, he won’t make me wait all day for a simple text back.
  9. I don’t want to have to convince a man to be with me. He should want to be with me 100 percent. There shouldn’t be a question as to how much he’s committed. He shouldn’t be with me to an extent. I don’t want limitations on our relationship. He either wants to be with me as a full partner each and every day or he doesn’t want to be with me at all. That’s his choice and his choice alone to make.
  10. I need someone who’s ready to settle down. I’m over dating. I’ve had my fun being a single girl and now I’m ready for life’s next step and next adventure. I’m ready for a real relationship. I’m ready to be with a man I can depend on. I’m not just looking for love — I’m looking for a best friend and life partner. I’m over spending every night out. I’m ready to settle down and I need a man who’s ready for that too.
  11. I want a man who’s going to be there for me. I don’t want a guy who’s going to run at the first sign of trouble. No matter how good a relationship is, there will always be tough times. I want a guy who can stick it out and be by my side through the good and the bad. If a guy isn’t going to want me when I’m sad or angry then he doesn’t deserve to be with me when I’m happy. It’s either all the time or none of the time — his choice.
  12. I’m looking for “The One.” I don’t want just any guy; I want the guy. I believe that there’s one right person for everyone so I want to be with a guy who believes that too. I’m not looking for simple attraction or compatibility. I want true love. I want a man who’s passionate about me in every way. I want a man who can jump all-in with me, not a man who’s too afraid to take a plunge.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.