I Want A Guy Who Loves Me As His Girlfriend But Likes Me As A Person Too

I don’t care what anyone says—being liked by my partner is just as important (if not more important) to me than just being loved as his girlfriend. There’s no denying that love is an essential part of a relationship, but I want to like each other as people too. Far too many couples have one without the other and if you ask me, it’s all or nothing.

1. Without a strong foundation, love will never develop. I believe the cliche that your partner should be your best friend. It’s the mutual respect, the excitement to learn about each other and the genuine liking who they are as a person that set the stage for a strong relationship. If you’re missing any of those basics, it won’t be love—it’ll just be infatuation or empty commitment, neither of which sound appealing to me.
2. The honeymoon period won’t last forever. When you start dating someone new, everything is sunshine and rainbows. Their quirks are cute, your differences get ignored and you practically worship the ground the other person walks on. But eventually, regular life and the routines you fall into will interfere and the person you thought was so great might annoy the hell out of you on a regular basis. Liking the person for who they are, faults included, will keep you interested when the new-glow fades.
3. Relationships can be complicated, messy, and awkward. At some point, something incredibly awkward, disgusting, or embarrassing is going to happen to one of you and if you just have surface level affection, it’s going to cause some serious problems. It’s only when you really know your man down to his core and vice versa that those moments will become something you can laugh about rather than issues that send you running for the hills.
4. Truly appreciating each other will get us through any hardship. Even the best couples have moments where it’s really hard to push through. We’re all human, and no matter how good your communication is, it is impossible to go through life with someone without emotions and disagreements getting in the way—not to mention the curve balls and uncontrollable tragedies life throws at you. Liking your partner is going to get you both through even the darkest time, as long as you have each other.
5. I need someone who constantly reminds me how he feels. Like most women, I crave validation. Knowing that my man likes me for exactly who I am and can express his feelings will make me fall faster than anything else. I need to trust that if I open up and show him my deepest darkest secrets, he will love me anyway. But saying “I love you” every night before bed isn’t enough. I want to know that I inspire him, that I push him to be better, and that he likes everything about me, even the parts I don’t.
6. Love doesn’t always stand the test of time. Once you mix in marriage, kids, bills and the ups and downs of middle age, love is often tested. I know so many people who fall out of love with their partner and instead of having a shared likeness to keep them together, everything falls apart. I want a relationship that is always exciting and full of admiration, but if love does fade, the underlying feelings will remain. When you genuinely like each other, you’re in it for the long haul.
7. How many people in your life can you say you actually like? Think about your family, friends and all the people you love. You may have an obligatory love for all of them but you don’t really like them if you’re totally honest. That should not be the case in your relationship!! You need someone who wakes up every morning knowing why they are with you because we don’t have enough of those people in our corner.
8. It’s easier to forgive when you mutually respect one another. Everyone fights, even couples who like each other as much as they love each other. But making up after arguments is a lot easier when you have that underlying affection, trust and understanding. You won’t have to worry about passive aggression, wondering if they’re really over it or guessing when they’ll bring something up from the past just to push your buttons. When you like each other, fights pass faster.
9. Some days one will be harder than the other. There are times being in love is the easiest thing in the world, and times when nothing feels more impossible. It’s also not practical to like someone in every single moment, but the point is that with one or the other at all times, there is always something to fall back on.
10. But as long as we have each other, everything will be okay. Nothing is perfect, and even the best relationships will see tough times. But no matter what happens, liking each other will get you through 99% of what you face as individuals and as a team. I want an extraordinary love, rooted in honest like—and I don’t think that’s asking too much.