Don’t Let Your Desire To Find Your Soulmate Blind You To The Reality Of Your Relationship

I’m of the belief that while there are plenty of fish in the sea, so to speak, there’s only one that’s perfectly right for you. Unfortunately, finding your perfect person is easier said than done, and it’s way too easy to assume someone’s right for us when they’re seriously not. You might WANT this guy to be Mr. Right, but that doesn’t make it so.

  1. You might love him, but he has to love you back. If your feelings aren’t fully reciprocated, then what kind of relationship are you supposed to have? Forever doesn’t come from unrequited love. You can believe he’s “The One” all you want, but if the love isn’t mutual, you’re just going to spend your life chasing a guy who will never truly be yours. At the end, of the day, he has to choose you too.
  2. Loving someone forever is all about commitment. Commitment isn’t a one-time ordeal. You don’t just say, “I do” and then your love is automatically cemented for eternity. You have to both continue to commit to each other every single day. You have to love each other even when you hate each other. Finding “The One” doesn’t make things easy. Every relationship is hard but it’s true commitment that will see you through.
  3. You can’t force feelings that aren’t really there. You can’t make a relationship into more than it is. You can’t manipulate a man into loving you or being with you. You might want to settle down and start a family, but the race to find true love doesn’t end just because you want it to be over. You can’t force yourself to love someone any more than you can force someone to love you. If the feelings and commitment aren’t natural, then he’ll never be the one for you.
  4. You deserve to be treated right. If you’re daring to call a guy “The One” then he’d better be giving you the love you deserve. You might love every part of his being, but if he doesn’t treat you right then no matter what, he’s not the right guy for you. The right guy would never hurt you and would never take you for granted. If he’s really the guy you’re meant to spend your life with then he’ll treat you the way you deserve without you even having to ask.
  5. Too many people are convinced that Mr. Wrong is really Mr. Right. Think of the divorce rate. Hell, think of how many couples never even make it down the aisle despite having planned to spend the rest of their lives together. Most women thought another man was “The One” before they actually met the guy who really was. If it’s not 100 percent right, then it’s wrong. It would be a shame to waste your life on a man when you’re heart’s not fully in it.
  6. Just because you love him doesn’t mean he’s “The One.” Sometimes love isn’t enough and you have to face that. Just because you love a man doesn’t mean you’re meant to be together forever. You might be right together for now but not forever, and that’s okay. Most people have more than one person they’ve loved in their lifetime, but only one of those people is the person they’ll love for a lifetime.
  7. Some relationships aren’t meant to last forever. Some people are only involved in a chapter of your life and not the whole story. Think of your past relationships. Starting out, you thought that he could be “The One.” You thought that the relationship might actually be going somewhere and that you could be looking into the eyes of your future, but then what happened? You broke up because he wasn’t right for you, you weren’t right for each other, or the relationship was only meant to last for a chapter — not until the day you die.
  8. It’s not just about what you want. It’s also about what you need. Does he make you happy? Does he treat you right? Do you want the same things out of life? Does he fit into your lifestyle? Do you get along or are you opposites in a constant battle? You need someone compatible to you and someone who gives you not just the love you want, but the love and devotion that you need.
  9. When it comes to “The One”, maybe isn’t an option. You can’t tell him that he’s the one for you when secretly you wish he were a better man. You can’t still be waiting for Prince Charming to swoop you off your feet. If he’s meant for you then he’s automatically Prince Charming. If you’re still hoping for more or even something different then no matter how much you love him, you’re still settling.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has been blogging for over four years and writing her whole life. Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. She enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.