Don’t Let Your Past Destroy Your Future

Breakups are the worst part of relationships. Sometimes it feels impossible to move on, especially when you have a broken heart. Eventually, you WILL come out on the other side and be open to dating again. When that happens, you’ll need to avoid these 10 things from intercepting potential love with someone new:

  1. Being Skeptical About New Love. Jumping back into the dating scene is hard in general, but it’s infinitely more challenging when you’re recovering from a breakup. You’ll probably have a hard time opening up to anyone new for a while, which is totally normal. If you’re too distrustful and worry that every guy will be like the last, you could be overlooking someone who makes a great catch.
  2. Being Afraid To Date. No matter how you met your last guy, the relationship likely went something like this — you developed an interest in him, decided to date, something not-so-good happened and you broke up. Now, the mere thought of dating again makes you exhausted. Thankfully, dipping your toes in the dating pool now and then will make it easier to jump in when you’re ready.
  3. Thinking About The Good Old Days. Your last partner was something special. You had a lot of similar interests, shared some amazing moments together and fit each other like a glove. Even though it stings, you find yourself reminiscing about the good times to forget how much things have changed. The only problem with that is thinking about the past prevents you from making better memories with someone new.
  4. Holding Out Hope For Your Old Relationship. With some breakups come the tiny glimmer of hope that things can be salvaged before it’s too late. If you loved your last guy and can’t bear the thought of moving on, it might be enticing to hold on until he comes around to make things right. And while that is a possibility for hopeless romantics, you’ll prevent further heartbreak by moving on. If it works out, it was meant to be; if it doesn’t, you’ll be ready to find love with someone else.
  5. Worrying That You Can’t Find Anyone Else. Finding (and keeping) love isn’t easy. When you feel like you’ve found The One only to have things end on a sour note, where do you go from there? At some point, you might even start to believe that you won’t find someone that you cared for as much as your last love. But don’t worry — though annoying, love tends to fall in our laps when we aren’t looking for it.
  6. Mourning Your Last Relationship. What went wrong? Things weren’t perfect, but you didn’t think it would end like it did. Maybe you guys should have talked things out more, apologized more often, learned when to step away and so on. And you’re probably right — except you don’t have the ability to rewind time. Thinking about the mistakes you (or your guy) may have made in the past will only help your future relationships. Even then, try to accept what happened and push forward instead of getting caught up in disappointment.
  7. Comparing New Guys To The Old One. You’re dating again!  In fact, you’re out with a guy who seems cool… well, except that he has a different sense of humor than your last partner. Come to think of it, a lot of his interests are polar opposite from yours. When you compare someone new to your past beau, it’s not only super unfair but stops you from getting to know him for who he truly is. A chance at new love means wiping the slate clean, so stop comparing!
  8. Being Unsure Of What You Want. Dating is too much for you to deal with. You’d rather be single. On second thought, you’re going to have to date sometime. Uh-oh — you have no idea what you want. That’s okay. When you’re recovering from a broken heart, take all the time you need to figure out your next move. Just don’t get stuck in an indecisive limbo and miss out on a good thing because of it.
  9. Worrying That You’re Vulnerable. Putting your heart on the line is a scary thing. Period. We’re all concerned about giving it to someone, only to have them toss it away. It sucks, but it’s a risk you have to take in exchange for finding love. As you already know, it doesn’t work out sometimes. But when it does, isn’t it totally worth it? Being vulnerable isn’t a negative thing — but worrying about it is.
  10. Moving Too Fast With Someone New. You found someone new and things are good right now. If the relationship is as promising as it seems, it’s enticing to make things exclusive sooner than later. Don’t. Taking the time to get to know a new guy offers the best of both worlds — you’re guarding your heart for as long as you need while exploring the potential for new love.