We all want to live our best lives, right? But sometimes, we’re our own worst enemies. We’ve got these sneaky little habits that creep in and steal our joy without us even realizing it. Well, it’s time to shine a light on these happiness stealers and finally say goodbye. Here are 16 habits that might be messing with your mojo, and how to flip the script.
1. Comparing Yourself to Others
We’ve all played the comparison game, but let me tell you, nobody wins. Every time you scroll through Instagram feeling like everyone’s living their best life while you’re stuck in sweatpants, you’re robbing yourself of happiness. This habit can leave you feeling inadequate, unworthy, and downright miserable. The truth is, that everyone’s journey is unique, and what you see on social media is often a carefully curated version of reality. The fix? Focus on your own progress. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small. And remember, the grass isn’t greener on the other side—it’s greener where you water it.
2. Holding Grudges
Grudges are heavy, y’all. They weigh you down and keep you stuck in the past. When you hold a grudge, you’re basically giving someone else rent-free space in your head. It’s exhausting, it’s toxic, and it’s keeping you from moving forward and enjoying the present. Plus, all that negative energy? It’s a happiness repellent. The person you’re mad at might be out there living their best life, completely oblivious to the fact that you’re still stewing over something they did or said. Meanwhile, you’re the one suffering. The fix? Practice forgiveness. Now, this doesn’t mean you’re okay with what happened, it means you’re choosing to let go for your own peace of mind. Remember, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, not the other person.
3. Procrastination
Putting off that task until the last minute, then stressing out and trying to get it done is a vicious cycle that leaves you feeling frazzled and disappointed in yourself. When you’re constantly playing catch-up, you don’t have time to enjoy the good stuff in life. You’re too busy beating yourself up for not starting sooner or rushing to meet deadlines. So, what can you do? Break big tasks into smaller, manageable chunks. Use the “5-minute rule”—if it takes less than 5 minutes, do it now! Set realistic deadlines for yourself and treat them as seriously as you would a work deadline. And here’s a pro tip: try to reframe the task. Instead of thinking “I have to do this,” try “I get to do this.”
4. Negative Self-Talk
You know that little voice in your head that’s always critiquing everything you do? Yeah, that voice is a liar, and it’s time to tell it to shut up. And the worst part is, we often don’t even realize we’re doing it. We’ve gotten so used to this internal critic that we mistake its voice for the truth. But here’s the thing: you wouldn’t let someone else talk to you that way, so why are you letting yourself? When you catch yourself thinking something negative, stop and ask, “Would I say this to a friend?” If the answer is no, then it’s time to reframe that thought.
5. Overcommitting
Are you the person who always says yes? When you overcommit, you’re essentially setting yourself up for stress, burnout, and a whole lot of resentment. You might think you’re being helpful or productive, but in reality, you’re sacrificing your own well-being. It sounds like you need to learn to say no. I know, I know, it’s easier said than done. But “No” is a complete sentence, and it’s one you need to get comfortable using. Before you commit to something, ask yourself: Will saying yes to this mean saying no to something else that’s important to me? Remember, every time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else.
6. Neglecting Self-Care
Let’s talk about self-care. And no, I don’t just mean bubble baths and face masks (though those are great too). I’m talking about the fundamental stuff—getting enough sleep, eating well, moving your body, and taking care of your mental health. It’s so easy to put yourself last, especially when you’re juggling work, family, and a million other responsibilities. But you can’t pour from an empty cup. So, it’s time to make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Schedule it like you would any other important appointment. When you’re at your best, you have so much more to give to others and to life in general.
7. Living in the Past or Future
Are you constantly replaying past mistakes or worrying about what might happen tomorrow? Congrats, you’ve just time-traveled away from your own happiness! When you’re stuck in the past, you’re dragging around a bag of regrets and “what-ifs” that keep you from moving forward. The fix? Practice mindfulness. Try grounding techniques like focusing on your breath or noticing five things you can see, hear, or touch right now. When you catch your mind wandering to the past or future, gently bring it back to the present.
8. Holding onto Toxic Relationships
We’ve all got that one friend, family member, or partner who just drains the life out of us. These relationships can make you question your worth, dampen your enthusiasm, and even impact your other relationships. The most frustrating part? We often hold onto these relationships out of guilt, obligation, or fear of being alone. Well, it’s time for some relationship spring cleaning. Take a good, honest look at your relationships. Which ones lift you up, and which ones bring you down? If the relationship is consistently negative and shows no signs of improving, it might be time to let it go.
9. Perfectionism
Don’t get me wrong, having high standards isn’t bad. But when you’re constantly striving for an impossible ideal, you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment. This mindset of “if it’s not perfect, it’s a failure” can lead to procrastination (because why start if it won’t be perfect?), intense self-criticism, and a constant feeling of not being “good enough.” It’s exhausting, and it sucks the joy out of everything you do. Try to embrace the concept of “good enough.” Remember, done is better than perfect. And often, what you consider a flaw might be invisible to others or even part of your unique charm.
10. Ignoring Your Finances
Money might not buy happiness, but ignoring your finances is a surefire way to invite stress and anxiety into your life. When you’re not paying attention to your spending, savings, or debts, you’re essentially blindfolding yourself and hoping for the best. Plus, it can limit your options and prevent you from pursuing things that could bring you joy. I hate to break it to you, but it’s time to face the music and get financially literate. Start by creating a budget—and actually sticking to it. Track your spending for a month to see where your money is really going. If you have debt, create a plan to pay it off. Taking control of your finances is about creating a sense of security and empowerment that allows you to make choices aligned with your values and dreams.
11. Neglecting Relationships
We might have hundreds of Instagram followers, but when was the last time we had a heart-to-heart with our best friend? Or called our parents just to chat? Neglecting relationships can lead to feelings of loneliness, disconnection, and a lack of support when you really need it. Enter: making nurturing relationships your priority. Schedule regular catch-ups and practice active listening—put down your phone and really focus on the person you’re with.
12. Ignoring Your Passion
Remember that thing you used to love doing? That hobby or interest that lit you up inside? Yeah, that one. When was the last time you did it? Maybe you’ve convinced yourself you’re too busy, or it’s not practical, or you’re not good enough. But engaging in activities we’re passionate about isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity for a fulfilling life. So, it’s time to rediscover and prioritize your passions. Maybe it’s just 15 minutes a day or an hour on weekends. And don’t worry about being “good” at it—the joy is in the doing, not the outcome.
13. Avoiding Difficult Conversations
Avoiding difficult conversations might seem like the easy way out in the moment, but in the long run, it’s a happiness killer. It leads to unresolved issues, resentment, and a whole lot of internal stress. Plus, it can damage relationships and prevent personal growth. The fix? Time to put on your big kid pants and learn to have those tough talks. Choose a good time and place for the conversation, and go into it with an open mind. Use “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming them. And remember, the goal isn’t to “win”— it’s to understand and be understood.
14. Multitasking
Answering emails while on a conference call, scrolling through social media while watching TV—we think we’re being ultra-productive, right? Wrong. Multitasking is a myth. According to Verywell Mind, what we’re actually doing is task-switching, and it’s terrible for our brains and our happiness. Each time you switch tasks, your brain has to refocus, which takes time and energy. What to do? Embrace single-tasking. Focus on one thing at a time and give it your full attention. Use techniques like the Pomodoro method (25 minutes of focused work followed by a 5-minute break) to stay on task. Doing less often means accomplishing more—and enjoying it more too.
15. Dwelling on the Negative
When you constantly dwell on the negative, replaying your mistakes or worrying about what could go wrong, you’re essentially marinating your brain in negativity. This habit can lead to anxiety, depression, and a skewed perception of reality. You might start to feel like everything is going wrong, even when it’s not. To combat this, start a gratitude practice—each day, write down three things you’re thankful for. And when negative thoughts come up, acknowledge them, but don’t let them take over. Try the 5-5-5 rule: Will this matter in 5 days? 5 months? 5 years? Often, the answer is no.
16. Holding onto Clutter
You might think that holding onto stuff is harmless, but clutter can be a serious happiness hijacker. According to Verywell Mind, physical clutter in your space can lead to mental clutter in your mind. It can make you feel overwhelmed, increase stress and anxiety, and even impact your sleep and productivity. Time for some decluttering! Ask yourself: Do I use this? Do I love this? If the answer is no to both, it’s time to let it go. Donate, sell, or toss things that no longer serve you. Create systems to keep things organized going forward. Creating space in your physical environment can lead to more mental and emotional space for the things that truly matter.
