If You Don’t Like PDA, Then I Don’t Think I Can Be With You

PDA is extremely important to me, so if you have an aversion to it, we’re in trouble. Physical touch is a huge part of any relationship and the fact that you can’t even hold my hand when we’re in public would be a good enough reason to re-think whether or not we should actually be together.

  1. It makes me think that you’re not serious about us. I mean, what do you expect me to think if you won’t even give me a kiss goodbye at the bus station? You obviously aren’t that serious about us if you don’t feel the urge to show the world how much you love me. I know you don’t want to make a scene, but aren’t I worth it?
  2. PDA is one of the best parts about having a boyfriend. Why have a boyfriend when you only hug him in private? Of course, I’m with you because I love you, but a big part of being in a relationship is having that cozy, safe, loving feeling whenever we’re together, whether it’s on the couch at home or in the middle of a bustling shopping mall. It’s one of the best parts of being in a couple, period.
  3. It’s not cheesy, it’s what love looks like. I don’t think that sitting on the same side of the table is “cheesy” and “lame” — I think it’s actually really sweet and is a true mark of our love for each other. I know that there are people out there who roll their eyes at that kind of thing, but I don’t and it shouldn’t matter anyway what they think.
  4. I can only assume you’re embarrassed to be with me if you won’t even hold my hand. The fact that you hate PDA makes me kinda suspicious that you’re ashamed to be with me. Maybe you’re ashamed to have a girlfriend in general and don’t want people to see you as a guy being “controlled” by a woman — I know how guys think. Maybe you’re embarrassed to hold my hand specifically like I’m not good enough to show off in public. I kinda doubt that last one, but sometimes I wonder…
  5. How else will my family and friends know that we’re serious about each other? Seriously, my friends will text me after every get-together we have and ask me if everything’s okay between us because you barely touched me. I get that it’s kinda embarrassing to kiss your girlfriend in front of her friends, but I’m not even asking for that — just general touching is good enough for me. I just really want to get my family and friends off my back and to believe me when I say that we’re good.
  6. Don’t you feel the urge to touch me when we’re out in public? Isn’t it just killing you inside that you have to wait until we get home to put your hands on me? My ex would walk behind me and squeeze my butt (not super obviously) and yeah, it was a little too much sometimes, but I loved the idea that someone wanted me that badly. I only wish that you had the same kind of passion for my body that he did.
  7. Your reluctance to do it is only stemming from your social anxiety. I know that the main reason you don’t like it is that you don’t want people to stare at you. I get a little stage fright too sometimes, but honestly, people maybe care for like a second and then they totally forget it even happened. That’s the nature of the human brain. I just really wish you would get over your insecurities for the sake of our relationship if anything.
  8. Physical touch is my love language. We all know about the love languages. Some people feel loved when they hear the words, some when you do a favor for them, and some when you spend lots of quality time with them. For me, it’s physical touch, so if you don’t want to touch me, I won’t believe you actually love me.
  9. If we’re a couple, I want us to be a couple 100 percent. I want us to get everything we can out of this relationship and take it to the highest level. I don’t think we can do that if you have reservations about showing our love to the world. That’s essentially what PDA is —flaunting our love for all to see. Instead of growing together in confidence, I’ll feel like we’re stagnating and things don’t feel as free as they should be.
  10. It makes me think you want to keep your options open. Why else would you not want to be seen as my boyfriend? You want to make sure the girls we pass know that you could still be potentially available. You don’t consciously think this, but I know that behind your excuses, this is one of the main reasons why you don’t want to show PDA. You’re keeping your options open and it’s super obvious you’re not all-in like I am.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.