Don’t Make Me Choose Between You & My Friends, Because You’ll Lose

Even though I know you’re a loving, kind, and caring guy, I can’t help but feel like there’s an unspoken expectation that I’ll drop everyone else in my life and make you my number one priority now that we’re official. However, ditching my friends for your convenience is never going to happen, whether we’re together for a few months or the rest of our lives. Please don’t ask me to choose between you and my besties because the fact is, you’ll lose.

  1. My Friends Have Been There Since The Beginning. Yes, we have crazy chemistry and I could potentially see myself with you for the rest of my life, but my best friends have been there for me through cancer scares, terrible jobs, and those unfortunate bangs that took me a year to grow out. You need to respect my history with them if you want to be with me.
  2. We Have Inside Jokes That You’re Never Going To Understand. If you’re hanging out with me and my friends and we suddenly all start singing a Lady Gaga song in a British accent when a garbage truck rolls by, just go with it and don’t ask any questions. It would take too long to explain to you anyway.
  3. My Besties Have Seen The Worst Side Of Me. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a complete bitch every Monday morning and I’ll send my sandwich back in a restaurant if there isn’t enough mayonnaise on it. If my friends can deal with my unpleasant quirks, then so can you.
  4. I’ve Traveled The World With My Friends. You know the picture on my dresser of me and my besties in front of the Taj Mahal? We made some lifetime memories on that trip, and that’s something you’ll never be a part of. You need to let me cherish the history I’ve built with my friends instead of trying to compete with it.
  5. My Friends Never Judge Me. My girls have taken care of me after a long night at the bar, watched me date guys that were bad for me, and let me buy those high waisted jeans when I was sure they would look great on me. (They didn’t.) And they have never once thrown my bad decisions back in my face. Neither should you.
  6. My Besties Let Me Be Vulnerable. Sometimes after I’ve had a rough week, I just want to get in my jammies, order a pizza, and watch Netflix with my friends on Friday night. I’m not afraid to let them see me just chilling with my hair up and no makeup on, so I shouldn’t always have to be “on” to hang out with you either.
  7. The Love Of My Friends Is Unconditional. When I run out of gas on the turnpike, have a fight with my mom, or don’t get that big promotion at work, my friends are always there to help me through a tough situation. If you’re not ready to be there for me no matter what, then you don’t deserve me.
  8. My Friends Are Always Supportive. Sometimes I struggle with big decisions and need encouragement that I’m doing the right thing. My friends always push me to achieve more in my life, whether it’s applying for that tough Master’s degree program or asking my boss for that long overdue raise. If you can’t support my drive to succeed, then maybe I’m better off without you.
  9. My Friends Let Me Geek Out. Yeah, so maybe I like to dance around to 90’s era boy band music when I’ve had a bad day, and stay in bed watching Doctor Who episodes when I don’t feel like dealing with life. My friends don’t always expect me to be the polished version of myself that I present to the world, so you should be okay with me being a total nerd from time to time as well.
  10. My Friends Don’t Care If I Look Pretty. Let’s be real – I’m not going to stay young and fit forever. Eventually, I’ll gain a little weight and a few wrinkles will stop cropping up on my face. But the thing is, my real friends won’t care at all. Our history, our memories, and our shared story will mean more to them than whether or not I’m ready to pose for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. Of course, I care about looking my best and staying in shape. But if you expect me to look like a supermodel no matter what phase of life I’m in, then you’re shallow and superficial, and I’m better off just hanging out with my friends every weekend.
Stephanie Seabrooke is a freelance writer based in Baltimore, MD. She enjoys wine, felt tip pens, and staring out of windows in a melancholy stupor. Tweet her at @StephSeabrooke