I Don’t Need To Find My Other Half — I’m Already Whole

Every single woman must still be searching for her other half, right? BS. Assuming that a woman is somehow lacking something because she’s not in a relationship is offensive and ridiculous. I’d love to find a great guy to share my already amazing life with, but I certainly don’t need one to complete me — I’m already whole all on my own.

  1. I’m fiercely independent. Not only can I make it on my own, I actually love my own company and cherish my alone time. Life isn’t about needing a guy — I’m figuring out this journey on my own just fine. I’m working for myself, paying my own bills, and taking care of my own well-being. I don’t need a man to make my life amazing; that’s all up to me.
  2. A relationship will never define me. I’m a great person regardless of my relationship status — I’m a complete person with or without a boyfriend. If I believe I’m only half a person now then that would mean I’m just waiting for a guy to come along and define me, and I won’t give that power to anyone. I won’t ever put myself in that position and I’ll never lose myself to a relationship.
  3. I have confidence without or without a guy. I don’t need a guy to make me feel intelligent, beautiful or important. My self-esteem is just fine. If I allowed myself to feel less than whole then that missing piece of me would just fill with self-doubt. I’d be telling myself that I can’t make it on my own, but I can and I am.
  4. I have self-worth. If I think I’m just a piece missing my other half then I’m saying I’m not worthy enough to stand as a whole person on my own. Someone else’s life doesn’t mean more than mine just because they’re in a relationship. My life has worth even if I’m single and I won’t let anyone tell me otherwise.
  5. I’m the source of my own happiness. I don’t need a guy to make me happy. I’m not waiting for someone to come along and fill a void in my heart — my heart is already full of love and happiness. I have friends, family, and a career I’m passionate about that bring me enough joy already. Finding Mr. Right wouldn’t make me happy, it would just be an added bonus.
  6. Finding love is a bonus, not a necessity. Why does being a single woman imply that something is missing from my life? Why isn’t just being me good enough? Finding love would be amazing and I look forward to it, but it’d just be the icing on the already awesome cake I’ve created for myself already.
  7. I don’t feel empty inside. If part of me was missing, I think I would feel that emptiness, but I don’t. I don’t need a guy to fill my heart. It’s already full. Just because I don’t have romantic love in my life doesn’t mean I have nothing. I have people who love me and most importantly, I love myself.
  8. I want a partner, not a puzzle piece. I don’t want someone exactly like me, nor do I want my exact opposite. We don’t have to fit together like two halves making a whole person. My life isn’t some weird puzzle I need someone else to help me figure out. All I want is a partner I can walk through life with, not a guy to help my life make sense.
  9. Being alone isn’t shameful. I shouldn’t need another person to give my life meaning. Romantic love is wonderful and amazing, but there are other equally amazing things in life too. I don’t feel ashamed of being single because there really is no shame in it. It’s where my life is right now, and that’s more than fine by me.
  10. I might want a guy but I don’t need one. Suggesting that I’m not whole on my own implies that I need a man to complete me. It’s like being single is living a half-life, but it’s not. Even if I never find “The One,” my life is still complete. Why? Because I choose it to be. I want to find love, but I don’t need it. I’m whole.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.