When you’re single and daydreaming about “the one,” you fantasize about butterflies and fireworks. But that’s not always how love begins. Here’s why a more understated start to love isn’t a bad thing:
- Fireworks burn out. You’ve definitely been through an almost relationship that crashed and burned as quickly as the attraction started. If things seem too good to be true at the start, they often are, and then you’re back where you started. It’s totally fine to take things slowly.
- Start with a connection. The one thing you should focus on when you’re single and dating is finding someone that you connect with. Hopefully it’s both a physical and intellectual connection. Without that starting point, your love won’t ever last.
- Your bond should grow stronger. It sucks when a seemingly happy couple falls out of love and breaks up but, of course, it happens all the time. The secret to success is really allowing your bond to grow so you’re always moving forward, not backward.
- The best love stories are built on friendship. That’s why so many couples start out as childhood, high school or even college friends. But even the next guy you date can be your friend, too – and then you have the best of both worlds.
- Real romance looks different than you expect. Think about the most romantic gestures that your current or ex-boyfriend made. They were probably pretty simple and casual and not exactly all red roses and candlelit dinners.
- You need somewhere to go. If your relationship starts super romantic and lovey-dovey, you can only go downhill from there. You need somewhere to aspire to, so taking it slow is always a good idea.
- Lust can make you totally blind. Your future life partner should have all the qualities you’re dreaming of, and if you’re only thinking about physical stuff, you’re not going to make sure that you’re actually with the right person.
- There’s no rush. Sure, you want to make sure your new guy is as committed to you feel, but really, you don’t have to rush things as much as you think. If it’s real, it will last and the time frame won’t matter at all.
- The beginning is always tricky. No matter how much you like someone, things are always kind of awkward at first. So it’s no big deal if you’re confused at the first and then things get better from there. After all, as long as you get love out of the whole deal, does the start really matter?