The idea that a guy needs to take me out, buy me dinner and win me over with lavish gifts to prove that he’s worthy of my time has never really resonated with me. As much as I appreciate a guy who goes that extra step to make me feel cared about, it’s not what I need from a partner. I don’t need a guy to take me out to show me he’s worth dating.
Respect is more valuable than a free meal.
Any guy can pay the dinner check, but it takes a real man to stimulate my senses and make me feel like he genuinely gives a damn. I care more about a guy who respects me as a person and treats me with genuine kindness. A guy can pay the dinner bill and still be a gigantic loser — picking up the tab doesn’t mean he’s a gentleman.
I make my own money.
I work hard on my own and one of the benefits to being a grown woman with my ducks in a row is that I can always take myself out to dinner and buy the things I want for myself. If I’m dating a guy, I care more about his company than I do about him paying for my six ounce sirloin steak. I didn’t work this hard to be where I am financially just so a guy could take over for me — I actually enjoy paying because everything I have, I earned myself.
I want a partner, not a sugar daddy.
I couldn’t care less about the guy who can spoil me with five star meals and designer items. I care more about a guy who can emotionally and mentally support my dreams. A woman who values material possessions instantly places a price tag on herself — and what I’ve got going on is priceless.
Genuine adoration has no price tag.
When a guy is worth my time, he shows it in the way he makes me feel cared about. That has nothing to do with how lavish our dates together are. I know a guy cares when he keeps contacting me and when he tells me I’m beautiful for no reason at all. These are the types of things so many women overlook and instead focus on the fact that he asked to split the check. For me, paying my own way is worth it when the guy I’m dating makes me feel amazing in ways that money never could.
It’s a backwards logic.
I can only speak for myself when I say that I didn’t work this hard to be the independent and thriving woman I am today just to judge a guy on he fact that he’s apparently “cheap” and “not worth it” just because he doesn’t take me out on a cliche date. I can have the same amount of fun with a guy sitting on a park bench and talking about everything under the sun with genuine interest as I can in a dimly lit cafe with a fancy menu. My interest isn’t defined by a dollar sign.
I’m not property you can buy.
I’ve been with guys who have paid for me and they always felt a sense of ownership over me and acted like I owed them something. I don’t like giving that kind of power away anymore because being treated like property instead of an actual person is complete nonsense — I don’t have time for that crap.
It’s his attitude I value most.
Taking me out and paying for my meal and entertainment doesn’t prove anything to me about who a guy truly is. If we go out to dinner, I care more about how he treats the wait staff and how he conducts himself in public than I do about who reaches for the check first.
Real love isn’t made of material things.
A good love story has nothing to do with the value of the initial dates. It’s what happens during the dates that matters most. When I date a guy, the beginning is all about getting to know him and talking about who we both are as individuals. Focusing on the price tag takes away from paying attention to what really matters — the guy himself.
The right guy is priceless.
The right guy doesn’t need to drop dollars and cents to prove he’s worth having in my life. Like I said, I earn my own meal ticket and I have no problem taking care of myself. Whether a guy courts me like Prince Charming or walks next to me as my equal is irrelevant if he’s not a good person on the inside. If he’s truly the right guy and makes me feel happy in his company, it doesn’t matter what we’re doing – our time together will be priceless.
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