Thanks to Disney movies and terrible rom-coms, I grew up believing that being a damsel in distress meant that a knight in shining armor would come to my rescue eventually. Not only does that not really happen in real life, but I sure as hell don’t need a guy to save me. I’m fully capable of saving myself—in fact, I already did.
I stopped believing that I needed to be saved. Instead, I focused on the fact that a 21st-century woman can fully and happily function without a man or a relationship and started living my life accordingly. If I want or need something, I can damn well get or do it myself.
I stopped waiting looking for my own Prince Charming. I put a stop to jumping in headfirst with every guy that came my way. Being self-sufficient and self-fulfilled meant that I started to view relationships as a perk rather than a necessity. I started to actually focus on and put myself first for once. I was no longer waiting for my life to start—I was actually living it.
I embraced opportunities I’d long ignored in favor of looking for a guy. Instead of hanging around in the same old places doing the same old thing hoping to meet someone, I stopped looking for love altogether. I remembered my lifelong dream of traveling the world and actually went out and did it on my own, and it was so much more satisfying.
I became the best possible version of myself, for myself. I was getting bored of my old routine so I changed up my routine and learned new skills. I stepped outside my comfort zone and became a more well-rounded person as a result. I worked hard to become someone I could be proud of rather than just some woman that some guy would want to be with and it felt amazing.
I cut the toxicity out of my life. Instead of spending time with negative people who drained me, I allowed only positive vibes in all aspects of my life. I also stopped hanging out with people who just wanted to stay in the same place and do the same things all the time because I knew I wanted more for myself.
I started exercising. I became a bit of a slob in my younger years thinking that because I wasn’t overweight, I didn’t need to exercise. It wasn’t long before my metabolism caught up with me and I started losing tone. I soon realized that being physically fit also gave me some much-needed endorphins to boost my mood on a daily basis. Since then, I haven’t looked back.
I made plenty of time for self-care. I exercise to work on both my mental and physical health, but I introduced self-care time into my weekly routine as well. This is where I just have some time for me, and only me, doing fun stuff that I like to do. As well as helping me to relax, it allows me to hit pause on my crazy schedule and reflect on how I’m feeling about everything.
I re-evaluated my priorities. I figured out what exactly I wanted from life and then made some goals to go out and get it. If something wasn’t right, I changed it. After all, I wasn’t about to waste precious time in a less than ideal situation. Getting a clear picture of how I wanted my life to pan out gave me the impetus to start making big moves towards creating it.
I spent time with the people who matter to me. As I wasn’t in a committed relationship, I had plenty of spare time to spend with the people I truly cared about. Friends and family became more important to me than ever and I managed to build fulfilling, meaningful relationships with some people who will now stand beside me for the rest of my life.
I refused to date jerks. My life wasn’t totally man-free when I started getting my act together. Guys weren’t my focus but they didn’t have to be entirely absent from my life. However, I only picked guys who were good for me to go on dates with. I stopped dating jerks and guys who were clearly toxic and trying to string me along for the sake of it. It improved my self-esteem as well as my general opinion of the opposite sex.
I lived in the moment. Instead of trying to plan my future or dwelling on the past, I was more attentive to the present—and I still live that way to this day. I don’t want to look back with regret 20, 30, or even 40 years down the line knowing that I missed so much of my life because I was preoccupied with what already happened or what was to come.
I focused on making myself happy. I realized that I don’t necessarily need a man by my side at all if I just focus on making myself happy. As long as I have good friends and family, a stimulating job, fun hobbies, and a roof over my head, then I’ll be just fine.
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