I Don’t Need To Keep My Options Open When I’m Dating Someone — And I Expect The Same

I’ve been told so many times that I should always keep my options open while dating, even if I meet a guy I really like. Apparently it’s not enough to see one a guy at a time because it means that when he disappoints you, you need other guys to fall back on. Call me old-fashioned, but if I’m dating someone, I’m ONLY dating him. Here’s why:

  1. Loyalty doesn’t begin at labels. The only guy I’m seeing may have a roster full of girls, but that’s just not me. I prefer to focus my time and energy on a guy I really like instead of having a few guys I sort of like on the go. I call this the ‘loyalty during talking’ phase, and that means that if I’m choosing to devote my feelings towards one guy, he’s going to be the only one I’m doing it for. Otherwise, how will we ever build something real?
  2. It’s exhausting. Dating more than one guy can be tiring, to say the least. Having one date on Thursday and then another on Saturday just seems like too much for me. I have family, friends and work to tend to so I really don’t have time to be dating a new guy every day of the week just for the sake of it. I only have room in my life for one guy, and isn’t that how it should be?
  3. I’m too indecisive. It can be easy to connect with more than one person at a time but when it comes to a certain point, I know I’m going to have to make a decision. And since developing feelings for the guys I’m dating is inevitable, it’s going to be a tough one. I don’t want to have to pit guys against each other in the hopes that the one I decide on is the right one.
  4. I have time to keep my options closed. I’m not in any rush to get married or have kids, so I have the time to date one guy at a time. If it doesn’t work out with the one guy I’m seeing, I’ll just get back out there and meet a new one. Meeting a bunch at the same time is just silly.
  5. I’m fine being alone. If the guy I’m seeing turns out to be Mr. Wrong, I have no problem not dating anyone until another great guy comes along and stokes my interest. I don’t need to always have a date for Friday night, nor do I have a problem not dating at all. I want the guy I spend my time with to be more than just a free dinner — that’s why I only need one really great guy on my date list.
  6. If it’s real, having options could ruin it. I like old fashioned men, the chivalrous type, and they’re the type of guys that would appreciate me only seeing them and not anyone else. I don’t want to ruin a good thing on the off chance that “we weren’t exclusive” is a good excuse to date every hot guy that asks me out. Because FYI, it’s not.
  7. I would lose track. One of the most horrific things I can imagine happening in dating is being called someone else’s name, but if the guy you’re dating is many people at once, though, it’s bound to happen. I don’t need to insult a guy I’m into by accidentally calling him by another man’s name or getting their stories confused.
  8. My life isn’t Sex and the City. And I’m not a Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda. I’m me and I don’t need to date a bunch of guys or keep my options open to feel as though I know what I’m doing when it comes to dating. I don’t, but that’s okay. By dating one guy at a time, I know I’ll eventually find my own Mr. Big.
  9. Dating isn’t a game to me. I’m the type of person that wants real love and I’m not willing to play a bunch of games with several different guys so I can say that I won. In my opinion, keeping my options open would just be another game played so that I don’t end up hurt or disappointed.
  10. If he’s the right guy for me, he’ll agree. The type of guy I end up falling in love with won’t keep a bunch of girls at bay in case he’s lonely one night. He’ll be independent enough to be alone and enjoy dating one person at a time just as much as I do.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.