I Don’t Need A Man, But I Can’t Help Wanting One

I’m a strong woman and I don’t need a man to provide for me or to make me happy. Still, that doesn’t stop me from WANTING a loving partner to spend my life with. This is why my lack of a need for a man hasn’t affected my desire for a boyfriend:

  1. I’m an independent person. I’m an introvert, so I don’t need to be around other people all the time — I’m more content being by myself. That doesn’t mean I don’t want love, though. Being independent makes me know that I’m not desperate. I don’t need a man to give my life purpose or to save me from single life loneliness. I’m independent, and I’m looking for an equally independent man.
  2. I still believe in love. Just because I’ve realized that I can survive on my own doesn’t mean I’ve given up on the idea of love. I still believe in true love, and I’m still confident that there’s someone out there that I’m meant to be with.
  3. I’m not lonely, but that doesn’t mean I want to be forever alone. There’s a difference between being lonely and being alone. I’m not lonely — I have friends, family, and a dog if I’m in the need for companionship. Still, I’m not afraid to admit that I’m alone. I’m single, but I’m not desperate for a relationship. I just want a forever kind of love when it finally comes around.
  4. I’m looking for someone I can grow old with. The truth is I want to get married someday. I don’t think that monogamy is old-fashioned. I don’t necessarily dream about my wedding day, but I dream about the man I’m going to marry. I want someone who is my true best friend, partner, and life companion. While I could handle growing old alone, growing old with someone I love sounds so much better.
  5. I can provide for myself. Sugar daddies need not apply. I don’t need someone to take care of me — I can take care of myself, thank you very much. I’m not looking for someone’s deep pockets. I don’t want anything more from a relationship than love, companionship, and someone who truly cares.
  6. I want a partner. I’m not looking for someone that can do everything for me so I can just sit back and be a pretty housewife. I don’t want someone who’s simply going to bring home the bacon — I can do that myself. What I do want is a partner — someone to share my life with and can lean on emotionally when need be. I want love, friendship, and a true life partner.
  7. I don’t want just anyone. I want “the one.” Yes, I’m one of those people who believe that there’s a right person for everyone. I’m not just desperate for a boyfriend. I could find any old guy to spend my time with, but that’s not what I want. I want the right guy, and my independence doesn’t stand in the way of that.
  8. I’m a whole person on my own. Wanting a relationship isn’t about needing a man to complete me. We’ll be two separate people who simply decide to share their lives together. I know who I am, and I’m never going to let a man change me. I just want a man who’s going to love, embrace, and encourage me just the way I am.
  9. I love the single life, but I’ll love being with the right guy more. I’m happy on my own, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still want more out of life. I think I should always push myself to be more, do more, and have more. I know that if I met the right man he’d only make my life better. I’m happy, but that doesn’t mean I should stop striving for the cherry on top.
  10. I can live without love. That doesn’t mean I want to, though. I’ve more than proven I can survive on my own. Now I want to see if I can survive a real relationship. I don’t need a man for fulfillment. My life is already so full and amazing. I can live without love, but I don’t have to and I don’t want to.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.