You Don’t Need To Have Sex To Create An Amazing Connection With Your Partner

You Don’t Need To Have Sex To Create An Amazing Connection With Your Partner

Great sex can make you feel closer to your partner, but it’s not enough to keep you together. If you’re connected outside of the bedroom it will make your relationship — and sex life — better. In a survey by Durex and YourTango, 96 percent of respondents said that they had the best sex with people they were emotionally connected to. Here’s how to get that emotional connection with your partner:

  1. Lower your conversation inhibitions. If you can talk about anything and everything with your partner, this brings you closer because you feel you can trust and confide in each other. And when you have less inhibitions in your conversation, it can also translate into less inhibitions in the bedroom because you’re being open with each other instead of hiding parts of yourself.
  2. Change things up. You’re not going to feel very passionate by having the same dinner at the same restaurant you always go to for “date night”. You need to spice things up if you want to feel closer. So perhaps instead of your regular dinner date, opt for something different and exciting, like a hike, cooking class, or ziplining.
  3. Remember the good times. It’s easy to forget amazing experiences and belly laughs you’ve shared, but keep making an effort to remember them. In an Appalachian State University study, 52 couples were asked to remember fun times they’d shared, both alone and with their partners. The couples who remembered the shared experiences were found to be more satisfied in their relationships. Why? Experts say it can be because having a good laugh at the same thing as your partner makes you validate each other’s opinions.
  4. Be sexy. You don’t have to wait for sexy time in the bedroom to be flirtatious, fun, and sexual with your partner. Drop him a sexy text during the day to say you can’t wait for him to get home, or surprise him mid-conversation with a kiss. It’s these little things that can keep you both excited to be together — and fuel a fire for sex later.
  5. Touch each other. Make sure you touch your partner every single day. This not only involves the obvious things, like kissing and hugging, but you can also mix it up with some massage, cuddling, holding hands, and more to feel closer on a deeper level. Touch is so healing, and it definitely makes you feel loved.
  6. Really listen. So many people just hear what others are saying so they can prepare what they want to say in return, but that’s BS. You need to really listen to your partner — and make sure he does the same for you — so that you can bond. There’s nothing better than feeling heard and understood. On the flipside, when you feel like your partner isn’t tuned in, it can build resentment.
  7. Learn something new about each other. If you’ve been together for a long time, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you know everything there is to know about each other. But that’s impossible. Take the time to get to know more about each other’s secret dreams, beliefs, personality traits, and sexual fantasies. It will be like getting to know your partner for the first time.
  8. Kiss. You should make a point to kiss each other regularly, and not just with a quick peck on the cheek or lips when you greet each other. Passionately kiss each other while lying on the sofa watching a movie or when you’re sitting in your car at the end of the date. You’ll feel like teenagers again while taking the time to show each other affection in a really intimate way.
  9. Sleep together. No, this isn’t about having sex, but really sleeping together. While you’re catching up on some rest by sleeping, you and your partner have a chance to bond. A study that formed part of the Edinburgh International Science Festival found that couples who spent the night in contact with one another were happier in their relationships than couples who didn’t touch at all. So hold hands while you’re sleeping or cuddle each other. It’s so sweet!
  10. Pay attention to details. It’s not enough to have those “how was your day?” chats at the end of the day. Really pay attention to what your partner says about their work and life outside of the relationship so you can ask about specific details. It shows you care. You should also pay attention to things they like and don’t like, such as how they take their coffee or what they have their eye on that would make a great birthday present. Love is in the details!
  11. Work towards a common goal. Having something you and your partner can work together to achieve is a great way to build fire in your relationship and make you grow closer together. It can be something small, like a fitness goal, or something big, like buying a house. Whatever it is, bear in mind that couples who achieve something together are invested in the relationship.
Jessica Blake is a writer who loves good books and good men, and realizes how difficult it is to find both.