Do You Really Need To Have “The Talk”? 8 Reasons To Avoid Defining The Relationship

It’s natural to wonder where a relationship is going, if anywhere. It can seem really appealing to have “The Talk”, but try not to rush it. If you have a good thing going and are enjoying yourself, there are several outcomes of this serious conversation that would leave you worse off than you were before. Unless you’re 100% sure you need a definition now, here are 8 reasons to dodge having “The Talk”:

  1. You might not like the answer you get. If you’re not ready for the possibility that you are only a hookup buddy, or that you are hopefully the future wife, then you’re not ready to have the talk. Table it for another time.
  2. You could put too much pressure on the relationship. Many people start to freak out and self-destruct when they find that a relationship is getting serious. Labeling your relationship is the easiest way to cause the level of seriousness to skyrocket immediately.
  3. Things might not change. If you’re hoping your guy will stop talking to other women at the bar or stop texting his ex if you label your relationship, you could be in for a rude surprise. If he isn’t ready to fully commit to you, defining the relationship won’t affect his actions. You’re probably better off bailing on this relationship than trying to fix it with labels.
  4. Things might change too much. If you’re happy with how things are going, you might not want to risk meddling with it. Giving your guy the boyfriend title might lead to unwanted behaviors, like him hanging around all the time or becoming jealous of your guy friends.
  5. You could force the relationship to be over. If the two of you are not on the same page, there’s a good chance having the talk will cause one of you to end the relationship. If you’re thinking dating monogamously while he’s thinking about moving in together, you’re probably going to hit a cross roads you can’t recover from.
  6. You can continue to play the field. No definition means no restrictions. Enjoy playing the field, meeting new people, and having enough experiences to guarantee you know what you want out of a partner and a relationship.
  7. You might be on different time tables. Some people jump into relationships earlier than others. Having the talk too soon could mean one of you gets your feelings hurt for no reason. You could both be super in to each other, but the timing is just too soon for one of you.
  8. You might have different expectations of what your label means. Labeling your relationship doesn’t magically fix all the confusion and gray area in a relationship. For example, labeling your relationship as hookup buddies might be a clear cut term for you, while the guy might interpret that situation as having room to grown into something more in the future. If you’re having the talk in hopes of making things clear enough to avoid any serious discussions in the future, don’t even bother. It won’t work.
Holly Harris is a freelance writer, full time student, and mommy to a toddler sass monster. In her (nearly nonexistent) free time, you can find her lifting something heavy in her home gym or chugging vodka sodas with friends. She contributes to several other sites, including Elite Daily.