I Don’t Need A Unicorn — I Just Need A Guy Who’s Good To Me

Finding the elusive unicorn guy is great and all, but sometimes the idea of a real life Prince Charming is a tad overrated, in my opinion. When it comes down to it, I don’t want a perfect guy — I just want a guy who’s a decent boyfriend and doesn’t treat me like crap. Is that so much to ask?

  1. He should show me how he feels about me. I don’t want to sit there wondering if the guy’s into me or not. I’ve done too much of that in the past. I want a guy who’s clear about his feelings, but no grand romantic gestures are required. Even just complimenting me from time to time or coming over when I’m sick and not minding that I look like Chucky’s Bride when I’m down with flu means a lot.
  2. He should have some respect. Seriously, is this too much to ask? A guy who respects me will care about my feelings, not just write them off. He’ll treat me with compassion, kindness, and decency. He doesn’t have to be the most chivalrous guy in the world, but just show that he respects me and what I’m about.
  3. He should make an effort. I don’t have time for boyfriends who slack off in relationships. I’m not going to carry the load on my own. A guy should make some effort. He should care about where the relationship is going and see me in his future, otherwise what’s the point of being together?
  4. He should care about more than just physical stuff. Okay, chemistry is great, as are those butterflies and sparks. But it’s not just about getting it on. I want a guy who treats me like more than a hookup. He’ll want to see me for a proper date instead of inviting me to his place for Netflix and chill.
  5. He should actually want me, not just any old girlfriend. I’m tired of dating guys who make me feel like I’m easily substituted for someone else if they’re given half a chance. I want to know that I was chosen above all others. He should show me that he wants to be with me and he’s proud of it — on social media (if he hesitates to change his relationship status, he’s out!) and in real life (such as by introducing me to his friends).
  6. He should be honest. I don’t need a lot of amazing, charming things to come out of his mouth. Just give me straight-up honesty so I don’t have to waste my time on a relationship that’s going nowhere.
  7. He should support me. I want a relationship in which there’s mutual support. But here’s the catch: I shouldn’t have to ask for it. If I’m having a bad day, I’d like a guy who cares enough to ask, “What can I do to help?” instead of just wanting to vent about his day.
  8. I need a guy who wants a relationship. One would assume that a guy who’s dating a woman actually wants to be in a relationship, but there are too many commitment-phobes out there. I want a guy who actually wants to be taken, instead of just hanging out and seeing where things go or sticking around until something else comes along. He should be clear about his intentions from the start.
  9. He should know who he is. What does this have to do with a guy not treating me like crap? Well, if he knows who he is, he’ll stick to his values and standards, which means that he’ll also respect mine. He’ll also make me feel like our relationship is on solid ground, not like I’m dating a guy who could change overnight.
  10. He should say those three little words: “I am sorry.” Toxic guys who take advantage of who they’re dating don’t really own up to their behavior. They never apologize because often they don’t even think they’re wrong. I want a guy who will be able to step up and say he’s sorry when he’s upset me — and mean it.
  11. He should text. When we’re not together, I expect the guy I’m dating to want to stay in communication. If I regularly have to wonder why it’s been four hours and he still hasn’t replied to my text, then he’s treating me badly and I won’t stand for it. He doesn’t have to be a huge texter, but he should make an effort — and he’ll want to if he’s really into me.
  12. I want a guy who makes my life better. I don’t need a guy to make me a better person, but it’s nice if he makes my life better. I don’t want to be with someone who makes me feel crap about myself or brings drama to my doorstep. Being with him should uplift me and make me feel good, at least most of the time. That might sound like too much to ask, but only if the guy’s an jerk.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.